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Pizzaslice · Apr 7, 2011, 04:12 PM

I was going out with my ex girlfriend for 3 months. I knew her for over year when we started working together. We ae both 20. We stopped going out together about 3 weeks ago because I got annoyed over her being unable to meet up with me during a week off she had. I met up with her and she said she wasn't as committed to the relationship as I was. That is my fault because she was the first girl a was really mad about and followed bad advice the looking back probably was too needy.

I first told her that we would never have the same friendship as before and that I will delete her number because that's what I do. She started to cry and say that she still likes me and does not want to lose me from her life. I cracked under the tears and said we will always be friends and ill always be there for her (Not my normal method, because they need to know what they are giving up, but take into account I am mad about her). We still work together and have met up twice for food and movie. She texts me every second day and at work we always spend so long talking that the manager thinks we are back together. I still really like her and I was wondering should I ask her out again. Im worried that I might have read the situaton wrong and lose a good friend. Advice Please

talaniman · Apr 7, 2011, 09:24 PM

She seems happy just the way things are. She has you when she wants you, and has her freedom too. Naw, I wouldn't ask her out. Why? Because she would probably go as friends, and you would want her to come back as your g/f, right. Forget it! She has what she what she wants, so be friends with your co worker, and get a better social life outside of work.

Sumitkumar7266 · Apr 7, 2011, 09:29 PM

Ya u should try your best from your part to get her.. Do the things which she likes..

First--Analyze the problem.

Second--Accept the worst can happen mentally..

Third--Then you try to make that worse to better calmly.. If u will accept the worst then you will be able to concentrate on the problem..

If you are not able to do anything or can't make it better just let the time decide your relationship..

Pizzaslice · Apr 9, 2011, 03:59 PM

I still feel (about 70%) that I like her and don't want the 'what if' question to haunt me as I see her at work. I was thinking that I should pull back from her completely. I won't text her, won't strike up conversations with her at work and I will only say hi as I walk past her. I feel that she would then have the ball in her court, If she wants to be with me, she can make the moves. Agree? Any advice?

talaniman · Apr 9, 2011, 05:49 PM

What ifs...

She has changed her mind
She is the one
She will give this another chance
She takes the ball in her court and wants to try again

None of these things are even remotely indicated but if you need more proof ask her for yourself, and while you are at it, ask her to not haunt you so you can put this to bed, and get on with your life without her, and not feed this false hope.

Then there will be no haunting of what ifs, because you have accepted WHAT IS. Then you can move beyond this event, and get ready for the next one.