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    tecom's Avatar
    tecom Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 7, 2015, 04:58 AM
    Should I break up or not?
    Im a female, 26 yo. Ive been in a long distance relationship with a guy for over a year now. Things seemed good and proper in the beginning. He was always responsive. Then suddenly, a few months ago, there seemed to be a drastic change in behavior.

    Whenever things don't go his way he withdraws and tries to verbally and emotionally hurt me till he feels the punishment is enough. For example, he asked for nude pictures of me and I refused since I'm not comfortable with my pictures being sent over the internet. Ever since then, he always mentions other women's bodies and how he likes flirting with them.
    Also, I was once out with a male friend who was in town for a day so I just showed him around a bit. That same day, he bought up the topic of how he checks out women and enjoys looking at porn and naked women.

    He claims that he loves me but there's no respect whatsoever. He cuts me off while I'm speaking and just cuts off all love and affection when he doesn't get something his way. Is this just his inherent personality or should I just break up with him?
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 7, 2015, 06:00 AM
    If you were a reader of the above post, what would you tell that person to do? Long distance romances (internet) have a very large failure rate. He verbally hurts you and wants nude photos of you, you are just a sex object nothing more. Move on.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 7, 2015, 06:27 AM
    Long distance relationships, dating is not real dating, unless you have and/or will be meeting in person on a regular basis. If you have never actually meet, he could be anyone.

    He has already expressed a main interest in sex and/or sexual photos, And of course once given can not be taken back and he is free to show them, post them, as he would.

    He is already only interested in you, I would say you are not really in a real relationship to break up from, but should block his account, and stop contact with him.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Dec 7, 2015, 06:44 AM
    Questions for you:
    Why do you maintain a LDR romantic relationship for over a year? Is it nice and safe and you want it to go on forever? Were you hoping he would invite you to his part of the world, or that he would come to yours?
    Why do you feel a need for advice on this, when it is so obvious?
    Who is the 'he' in the story about the other man visiting for a day? Whether it's the visiting man or the LDR man, how does it fit in to the rest of this?

    Men want sex. They won't go through courtship as long as it seems you want.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,244, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 7, 2015, 07:48 AM
    Have you ever met in person? If not then this so called LDR is but a fantasy fabricated sham of a real relationship and if he is a disrespecting boob in LALA fantasy cyberland then you have been fooling yourself and wasting your time!

    No need to break up with him, just cut all further contact and get a real life. A healthy happy one. Yes end this ridiculous experiment ASAP!
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #6

    Dec 7, 2015, 09:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tecom View Post
    Im a female, 26 yo. Ive been in a long distance relationship with a guy for over a year now. Things seemed good and proper in the beginning. He was always responsive. Then suddenly, a few months ago, there seemed to be a drastic change in behavior.

    Whenever things don't go his way he withdraws and tries to verbally and emotionally hurt me till he feels the punishment is enough. For example, he asked for nude pictures of me and I refused since I'm not comfortable with my pictures being sent over the internet. Ever since then, he always mentions other women's bodies and how he likes flirting with them.
    Also, I was once out with a male friend who was in town for a day so I just showed him around a bit. That same day, he bought up the topic of how he checks out women and enjoys looking at porn and naked women.

    He claims that he loves me but there's no respect whatsoever. He cuts me off while I'm speaking and just cuts off all love and affection when he doesn't get something his way. Is this just his inherent personality or should I just break up with him?
    You should break up for him. He doesn't respect you. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? No. Second this is a long distance relationship, they rarely work out because you can't work in the biology that comes from being close. This isn't sex but the subtle hormone play that goes between two people who are involved romantically.

    Leave him.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 8, 2015, 06:37 AM
    "Is this just his inherent personality or should I just break up with him?"


    Yes, and yes, in answer to your question. I assume you have not a lot of experience with dating and relationships, for you to subject yourself to what this distant relationship has become.

    You can do better.

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