Should I attempt to reconnect with my girlfriend after a year of no contact?
Asked Apr 14, 2011, 10:44 PM
Back in October, I dumped my girlfriend of 2.5 years for a few reasons. My gut was telling me something that I ignored for too long when the signs were all there. I never knew if she was actually cheating but I couldn't handle the stress of not knowing and being led on. Plus she was closing herself off and I was growing tired of all the nonsense. She was basically letting the relationship die and treating me like I wasn't worth much anymore. So eventually I did what she couldn't and I ended the relationship. She seemed indifferent but was obviously upset. No doubt a manipulation tactic. Anyway, she started no contact and has blamed me for everything since. She's compartmentalized memories of us and me which is nothing new as she does this with everyone in her life to some extent. Never having to deal with the fact that she is flawed, never owning up to the truth.
Anyway, it's been 6 months since the breakup and for the most part I'm basically over her. The only time I've spoken to her since the breakup was a letter I sent three weeks after, to which she replied that she didn't know what the future held but that she still loved me and to not contact her anymore. Oddly enough, our lives are moving parallel to each other and I still have things of hers that I'd like to return before my trip around the world. I did a lot of thinking after the relationship and I always thought that we were better as friends. When ever we weren't pressuring each other or expecting anything of each other and just having a good time talking and hanging out we were amazing. And I think more than anything what I miss most, even more than the sex, is just sitting next to her in a park late at night and talking to her about music or life.
So I was wondering if maybe before I leave for my trip I should contact her to maybe see if she'd want to rebuild at least a line of communication. I don't know what she's going through, but knowing that she never dealt with the breakup properly she may not be receptive to it. But I don't have any ulterior motives. I'm basically over the past and I have no plans on even bringing it up into conversation with her. I just want to see her and talk to her before I leave for my trip, give her back some things, and maybe slowly start to rebuild a basic friendship. I mean she really was someone that I admired, despite her flaws and I've done a lot of growing since because of her. I have a lot of friends and girls have thrown themselves at me so it's not like I'm lonely and trying to get back with her. I just want to rebuild something, see if maybe we can reconnect.
Is this a good idea? Should I at least try? Mentally, I believe I'm prepared for an encounter after a year (which will be in six months). I'm more concerned with how she's doing and how her life has been since so talks of the past will not be brought up. I'm not doing this for closure either. I have closure. I've come to terms with the fact that she'll never offer me any truth as to why it didn't work. I have no motives. Like I said, I'm not expecting anything from her. But I just want to see if I can reconnect with her because she was always a good friend.