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headbanger89 · Jan 16, 2009, 01:31 AM

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about nine months now and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her and I'm pretty sure she loves me. We love to spend time together and I just adore her. But the thing is, I'm going to be 20 soon and she just turned 17. My friends say she's to young and that I need to date an older girl because she will definitely "put out." me and my girlfriend don't have sex at all because I don't want to take the risk of getting in trouble. Is this right? Should I find an older woman or should I stick with the girl I love? Peer pressure sucks!!

I just recently I move to another town not to far from my old one. I go to college there now and the idea of being away from her sucks. Now trying to find time to see her is hard, and now really soon I have to find a job here which will cut down on my visiting time even more. I really think that it's going to cause some problems between us and make us mad. What should I do to be able to fix this problem?

Edited and merged 2 threads- Tman

Clough · Jan 16, 2009, 01:40 AM

Hi, headbanger89!

Is the reason that you want to be with a girl simply because she might be willing to "put out"?

I ask that seriously, because it would help us to know what you truly want out of a relationship in order to help you the best here.

If you truly love and care for her, then I would disregard any peer pressure that you have concerning expectations that any of your friends might have for you and follow what you have in your heart as well as your mind.

Thanks!

liz28 · Jan 16, 2009, 05:24 AM

If you think your schooling and work is going interfere with your relationship then your going have to make a tough decision, rather or not to stay.

If you stay then yes your going feel and be frustrated because your time will be limited with each other but where there a will there's a way. The two of you're going have to come together and find time to spend with one another. Long distance relationships are hard but if your can survive it will make the relationship stronger.

Going to school to better yourself and your future is a good thing. Having a girlfriend is a good thing too but at this point you need to have a heart felt talk with your girlfriends. The two of you need to have an open discussion about this and express your concerns and decide what the two of you are going do. Communicate to her what you said here because maybe your can come up with a solution because after all communication is the key.

kctiger · Jan 16, 2009, 05:33 AM

Ummm... this isn't even a choice... SCHOOL!! Education trumps almost anything, period. You are not married. This is your future. The odds of you two actually making it to marriage are slim to none... school is imperative, and isn't something that should just be given up due to a woman, or man. It is an opportunity to change the rest of your life. Not a tough decision at all, in my opinion.

I would never, NEVER hold back my significant other because of a situation like this. I would encourage them to go and pursue it.

talaniman · Jan 16, 2009, 08:36 AM

You sound conflicted with many feelings to deal with, and some tough decisions to make.

Talk to her, and tell her your plans and see if she can deal with it. You really do need to get schooling, and a job just to eat, and she will to eventually, but see what she says.

Kudos for abstaining from sex, a great choice here, as it will complicate things, and maybe illegal, as I assume she lives with her parents, and is still too young at this point.

Leave the other females alone ( old or young ) too, as you might get sex, (what all young guys want ) but it is cheating. If you want to sow some wild seeds, be single, and keep the condoms close.

Don't listen to what the other guys are saying, as chances are they are lying, but they are definitely not in your situation.

ScottGem · Jan 16, 2009, 08:56 AM

Ok, so as a 19 yr old, you began a relationship with a 16 yr old. In my opinion this is borderline. She was still mostly a child and you were heading into adulthood. On the other hand, if you truly have had no sexual relations, the relationship could be built on love.

I also agree with the others that school comes first. If the love is true it can survive the separation. If not, its better off that you break up now.

liz28 · Jan 16, 2009, 09:31 AM

Are you going listen to friends? Do they run your life or you?

If all you care about is sex then yes leave this girl alone. Go find someone that is going put out but know that relationships aren't just about sex and you been doing fine without it so far, don't you think?

What state do you live in?