I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now in which time we have been through a lot. When we started dating I was at the back end of a messy break-up and know that I should have waited until it was all dealt with but I was scared that I would lose her and admittedly made a bad decision to do this as this has led to trust issues.

Recently I graduated from Uni meaning that we now have distance involved with our relationship. This is when she initially told me that she wanted to break-up completely and that it because she can't see what I'm doing all the time. She said that our relationship all that she could want but the trust lost from beginning of our relationship has put a massive wedge in it.

We met up and talked things through and we decided that it will best to take a break. Considering the significance of this next year to both of us (me starting my career up, her doing her final year at Uni) we decided to have a break until July!

What do I do now? I mean it's usually best to give space and not contact her in these situations, but a year with no contact can't be the right thing to do surely? And if I do make contact how much is enough? I'm also scared that I commit to this and come halfway down the line she finds another person at Uni, where does that leave me, probably ten time worse than how I feel right now!

You say you talked things through - all that you are asking here are also questions you should be talking with her about, not us.

But when the basic topic of how much contact is left out, chances are that she sees it as a real need to break, and going a whole year is a way of doing it without a lot of grief. Distance rarely works out. She will be surrounded entirely by datable men her age, a fact you just have to live with. As is the mistake you made on the rebound, which you can't kick yourself over, it happens to a lot of people. If you want to make some pleasantries about your new job and life in general once every few days for a while by email ONLY, do so, and if she doesn't reply after about 3 or 4 of them, DROP CONTACT and concentrate on your new life. Yes it will be painful. We all go through it sometime in our lives. When one person doesn't want a relationship, the other person has to realize that he has no choice in the matter.

When it's a break for a specific time, then you set the rules of contact, and behavior, when you decide on the time this ends (JULY).

Without guidelines you are in limbo, and to be honest, those kinds of breaks are useless. Just me, when I have to take a break from a relationship, I think you consider it a break up, disappear, and do your own thing.

I mean, who puts up with being in limbo?? A fool? Yep!!

She's still chewing on that? That's almost creepy.
No Contact and live life to the fullest!