So I met this girl almost two years ago and we were both in relationships. We hit it off from the start with very similar outlooks and morals on life. Neither of our relationships were good and I eventually broke up with my girlfriend. I then pursued this girl aggressively and she eventually broke up with her boyfriend and one night she asked out of the blue if she could come over. Needless to say things were perfect from both sides. She was very close to my daughter and the relationship grew fast. I met all of family and we are all very close. I am very good friends with her brother as well. So we dated for six month in bliss and she left country for vacation for a month. I held it together but when she got back I turned slightly clingy. I missed her and wanted to be with her all the time. She gave all indications of the same thoughts.

Her past boyfriend was incredibly insecure and he called her names and was really jealous and abusive in all ways. She lost friendships with her friends and only reengaged when we got together.

I have not been jealous but I worry. I am 31 and she is 24. I am established and have a career and house. She is out of college but prepping to go to optometry school.

One day she was distant and when I asked her what was wrong, she said I was the perfect man and she loves everything about me and wants to be with me and have a family and everything that goes along with it but she needed time apart to sort through things.

Immediately after, I poured my heart out and cried like a baby. I let her know how destroyed I was and basically begged her not to do this but rather slow it way down. She stuck to her guns and has remained true to her stance.

This was three weeks ago and I am gradually getting better even though I see her going out all the time. I trust her but I don't trust guys still trying to get in. She will text me every so often to the effect of "hey, hope you had a good week".

I need to know the best things to do here. I want to be with her more than anything. Her whole family loves me and doesn't understand either so it makes it hard. I try to fill my day and hang with friends but she is all I think about 24/7. I can't concentrate on anything. I need help in dealing. She says she knows she is being selfish right now but hopes I can wait until she gets it together, whatever it is.

Please help me through this so I don't cave and bombard her with texts, etc and run her off for sure. She says "not goodbye, goodbye for now". She is very short with me now in communications seemingly overnight. Help!

Its not all that unusual when a person to go from one overlapping relationship to another to have a need for personal space. Not only was there a bad relationship, then a rebound attachment where feelings of hurt confusion and need were present but the very important healing process was present.

In addition, on your part there is a loss also and YOU need space and time yourself to get through your own feelings, and any contact just stirs up those feelings and keeps them stirred up.

Likely the stress of her getting her new job still keeps her confused, and her confusion is yours. Untilyou see how unfair it is toput your whole life on hold waiting for someone to get their head together (and no telling how long that will take), you willsuffer greatly and be miserable and those urges to resolve this with her will be tremendous.

The only thing I can recommend is treat this as a break up,and cut allcontact with her and allow your own healing to take place. Sorry guy but removing yourself from this bad situation altogether is the only way you can get and keep your own act together, and eventually end the suffering.

I mean how long are you willing to wait for her to know if she wants you or NOT?