Hi I'm all new to this... Maybe because I really don't know what to do.. Or maybe I have an idea, but need someone's advice... :confused:
So I have been with my ex-boyfriend/fiance for 4 and half years, we met on an online dating site. ( I know before you shot me down... that was my first try and I lucked out he turned out great... or so it seems.. . ) To make the long story short, I am a single mother, and he was FINE and great w/my kid,, the final year of our relationship we grew apart, due to financial issues, then the lack of intimacy, we tried to work it out, we weren't fighting as much but the communication has deteriated! He also didn't like the fact that my younger sister moved in because she was having a hard time getting on her feet, and then I made the mistake in letting my sister's boyfriend move in as well. So that damaged my bf/fiance, he felt like his " space " was being invaded. ( I forgot to mention that he is a total introvert. ) I DID ask him first and he just shrugged his shoulders didn't really give me a chance but I did tell him it was a temporary thing for them to move in... Once again the " lack " of communication.. or maybe I didn't read the signs... So last month he broke up with me. Saying something like, I'm not the girl he fell in love with... Things aren't the same like it was before. Too many changes happened too fast... One day last month I was @ work and he came to the house and packed up all his things, w/out saying a proper goodbye to me or my kid... Now I understand if that was really hard for him to do ( to say G'bye in my face.. ) but my daughter? She called him DAD for goodness sake. Now I'm all sad and torned thinking I *effd it up for me and my girl. I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and move on, but I can't stop thinking of him. I am trying to keep busy, working out, doing everything on my own, you see me and the ex was such a good team... It's been weeks after the break up, I have finally accepted it... But in a way I want him back. But just don't know what and how to ask, I know he took the " easy way out " and left w/out a trace... but he did call and let me know he moved back to his parents... Things are going way to fast for me to even " soak " the break up in.. Now he wants to meet to get " closure " I have been reading lots of things to do in this situation. But in desperate need of an advice to someone who has heard my story through here... What to do? Shall I meet him? Should I tell him we " could " date each other, but I don't want to piss him off or scare him away... I don't know if I could be friends... I'm just so darn confused... I'm not taking this break up very well... any advice and support would be much appreciated... :) Thank you!

This does sound very difficult for you because you feel guilty that you had your family over and lack of sex and the two of you have drifted apart. Its hard on both parties... You can't just not be there for your family and he can't force you to not be there. So although he took the easy way out, it is devastating.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Ask him if he can give you a little more time and you will speak to your family to find a place. They are ruining your relationship. If he says its too late then forget it and try moving on. We know its difficult but you can do it.

First off: Thank you EmoPunk for your quick response... Makes me realize that there are good people in the world today... Gosh I have thought about that to move on,, and we did talk, and just everything was just piling up within the last year. There is no infedelity nor wanting to.. We just LOST communication, the drive, but it's funny how when he's finally gone... I totally feel it, and miss him... I recommended counselling, he doesn't want. ( A bit prideful I think... ) Perhaps we should just date? Since he did move back in w/his parents. I know how that is driving him nuts. We're both in our 30's... We used to be a good team, we used to have the same goals... not anymore.. It's funny how a few weeks just went by like crazy... I will be meeting w/him for a " final " closure dinner sometime this week or next... Not sure how it can get any " closure " than it already is, he already did the hard part... " Picked up and left..." Shall I meet w/this guy? I think I can keep my composure, and emotions. Should I mention I want to start dating him, and take it slow... Or would that be just pushing him away? He's already hanging out w/his single girl friends.. ( Man I sound like a obsessed girl, but he never really desired to go out or hang out like that.. ) We were so real and good together... Now I feel like I don't know him anymore... I do understand that he is trying to forget what just happened and have fun,, same with me... But when I do- do that, I think of him... Geez, I'm really bothered by this break up. I'm trying to just relax and not think about it too much, I do have a daughter I have to raise and live for... The hardest thing is when I go to bed.. The fact that he's not there, the comfort of knowing that he was there and now gone, just eats me up inside... I try to eat I don't have the appetite... I don't want to mention it to him how deeply I feel. ( Maybe I'm prideful? Or fear of rejection... ) Who knows... I'm feeling all kinds of emotions.. I try not to look @ his myspace, or Facebook or whatever social sights he's in.. I make a commitment not too... Weird, I feel all young and immature in a stalkerish way... I'm tryn to get by... My main concern is, " Should i tell him how i really feel? " How do I know if he wants to " take it easy and date.." I don't see the harm in that. It's been a month.. and a few weeks... ( *sighs... this is a pretty bad feeling.. )

I'm confused as to what you are really asking... Do you accept the break up? Are you taking the blame? Do you want to fix things? How old are the two of you? Can you tell your family to go somewhere else?

We're in our early 30's, I do accept it because I see where he is coming from. I think I'm taking the blame therefore " accepting " it... I do want to fix things... I did tell my younger sibling and its taking time because she just got a full time job...

Well have a talk with him. Write down things you would like to know and then ask him. See what he says and then let us know.

Okay will do thank you!

No way do I have anything to do with someone who slipped out the back door, and disappeared while I was at work. He is the one who needs closure, you young lady have your own problems to deal with for yourself, and your family. He had his chance to talk for 4 years, he didn't and now he has something to say that's going to help you? I doubt that.

Until you have dealt with yourself, and gotten him out of your system, so you can see clearly and think, have nothing to do with him and learn your lesson about who you depend on when times get tough.

Honestly speaking for myself, I think its crazy to give some one that abandoned you what he wants. You have a long healing path you need to stay on right now. That's the closure you need , not him.

TALANIMAN,, this was the best insight and advice I got so far!! Thank you!! I know it will be hard to just " get over " him... but he's not worth it, ( I keep telling myself that.. ) It was good while it lasted, but I will not be an " option..." No longer... THank you!