When my partner and I got together he told me how he split up with his ex after she gave birth to a black baby boy, my boyfriend is white. I believe he thought he was the father right up until this point. Recently I got curious about this little boy and looked up the ex girlfriend on Facebook, she has lovely little white boy, 4 years of age, which I think makes him the baby in question. I'm so confused. Did my fiancée leave the girl for another reason and think this was a good lie to tell to cover up that he ditched her at a pretty awful time. Or does he not realise that when the midwives said that babies are sometime born darker skinned, they meant it and baby is actually likely to be his, and he has no idea. What on earth do I do? How do I ask him? What would happen to us if he genuinely never knew he has a son out there, I'm scared this will destroy us. Would I be a bad person if I didn't say anything, I mean surely he's looked back at the girls profile since the birth, and realised, I know they are amicable and used to occasionally talk. Maybe he knows enough not to worry about it but just hasn't told me. We are getting married in 6 months and plan to try for a baby straight after that. Thing is I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship and we are one big happy family.

So has his ex served him with paternity papers asking for support,

Have you taken this to him and asked?

This is the man that your are going to marry. If you have a question nothing should hold you back from asking. I would also tell him why you are asking, let him know that you have seen pictures of his ex with a little boy. Ask, don't let this fester!!

Take care

I think you deal with this issue and resolve it BEFORE you get married.