I've adored this man as a friend for many years. There has always been a certain chemistry between us, but because he was married I maintained a distant attraction. Recently, I was told that he had filed for divorce. A few weekends ago, several of our mutual friends (who have always observed the chemistry between us) conspired to put us together. Since then we have spent a great deal of time together. He is a genuinely lovely person and the feelings I already have are becoming stronger. But, divorces are emotionally hard on both people (even the one who files) and I'm afraid I'm going to wind up getting hurt. Should I back off and see what happens? Our friends think the marriage was emotionally over years ago and that the two of us should be together.

The friends think that, but what do you think? I see that you have questions, and that means you observe something in his attitude that tells you he is not ready. Pay attention to your gut feelings. What is the rush? When he is done with this chapter he can go on to the next. Going back and forth in a book is confusing, so is starting something before you are done with another. Wait, if and when he is really free and available, he will be ready to pay full attention to a new relationship. And that is what you want isn't it? Someone who can focus only on you.

I am a divorcée, I have to admit they are tough and painful for both parties, This is true. It all depends on the person, If the relationship was emotionally dead for years, then sometimes well I know in my case it wasn't as hard. However I still didn't date for a long time, I needed time to grow for myself, But every individual is different. Just make sure you are not on the rebound.. As I always say the volume on your intuition should be turned up and watch for signs. Listen to what he says.. Oh something else very important, With Divorcée you need to be a little more patient with... SO if you are the woman who is looking to get married soon, and looking for something serious, or anything of that nature I think it is wise you see what he expects to gain and what does he want... And what you want and what he wants is mutual this is very important.

This is my opinion... Make sure you don't lower STANDARDS for him... if you want something serious and you know he can't be there for you emotional think you really need to think about What is in your best interest. Before serious feelings get involved and you get hurt.