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    neofreoo's Avatar
    neofreoo Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 4, 2010, 12:50 PM
    Relationship help
    So here what it is.

    My girlfriend recently broke up with me, I'm going to go through the whole story and appreciate some advice.

    We have been going out for 20months and everything was going great. Lately she asked for her space and told me she wasn't sure about things. We talked and sorted things out.
    Recently her child hood friend from another continent came down to visit her. She told me that she always had a crush on him. On one of their meetings he told her the same and she told me that it cause all of her feelings from the years of not seeing him float to the top again.

    She immediately dumped me and is telling me that her and her friend might try and do the long distance thing.

    Now I know that most people will say just forget about her and to be honest I'm ready to do that but during our relationship there was a time when I doubted and a couple times brought up the topic of taking a break but she was presistent in saying she loves me and didn't want to let me go. I believed her and started to finally be sure that I wanted her. That is the only reason I want to give this another try cause I don't regret taking that chance with her and maybe she won't if she takes this one with me.

    As of right now we are good friends, we keep talking to each other over texts and everything. She says she doesn't want to lose me from her life. Ive told her that she is only going to get hurt in the end if she tries the long distance thing but she really 'loves' him. She made it clear she doesn't want to get back together.

    So my question, if I wanted to get back with her what should I do.

    Should I just continue being a good friend and not tell her how it feels or should I write her a letter telling her how much she has hurt me and how I feel about her not making the right decision.


    Any advice is good
    Thanks
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #2

    Sep 4, 2010, 01:31 PM

    My opinion. And this is strictly from experience, is that the "friend" thing never works as long as one of you want to get back together. The first thing you need to do is stop having contact with her. You are not ready to be "just friends". The second thing you should do is try to accept that she is interested in someone else, and that in itself should tell you she doesn't have the same feelings that you have. You should not tell her she is making a mistake. It won't matter because she told you she does not want to get back together. As much as it hurts, you have to face the reality. Keeping her in your life only hurts you, not her. Cut her loose, sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to. Eventually you will meet someone else, but you won't until you let her go. But don't torture yourself, stop the friendship. You know that's not why you stay in touch with her.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #3

    Sep 4, 2010, 02:08 PM

    She thinks she'll always have you around as her 2nd hand Luke, so the best thing you can do is to not be around at all. Unless you're gone, she can't miss you.

    You need to go complete no contact. Then you need to go out and at least act like you're having loads of fun without her.

    Who knows, maybe once you get back out there, you may just find someone ever better.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 4, 2010, 02:26 PM

    Disappear from her life for your own good, and you can keep your dignity and self respect and rebuild a life that you enjoy without her. That's what you should do and forget the friends crap and trying to stay in her life because that's what she wants, but not what YOU need.

    Look up the meaning of disappear and then do so!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Sep 4, 2010, 02:28 PM

    I agree with all the advice. Leave her alone and get on with your life.
    Tami2271's Avatar
    Tami2271 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #6

    Sep 5, 2010, 07:10 AM
    Sounds to me like she is already seeing someone. MOVE ON. Life is tooooo short sweetie.
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
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    #7

    Sep 5, 2010, 09:09 PM

    I heard a comment on a recent program whereas you are kept 'on the hook'.

    They keep you there with promises of friendship.. talks.. etc with no intention of ever being with you again.. bbbuuutt.. just in case.. you're there.

    Get off that hook and move on!

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