Hi

I'll try and keep this brief.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for around 7 and bit months now and things a really good, we recently got back from a friends wedding in south Africa which was great. This was the first time we had spent that much together (alone) she has an 8 year old daughter, which there is no problems with and we all get along great.

The problem:

About 3 weekends ago: we only get to see each other at the weekends as we met whilst I was at uni and she was working at the office where I worked at the weekends.

We've already talked about how we want to live together etc but the timing isn't great and there isn't enough money to rent a place.. so we're looking to move into together in about a years time.

So 3 weekends ago when I was getting ready to leave hers... she burst into tears and told me how hard she was finding it in the week when I'm not around... so the next weekend I stayed the extra night on the Sunday and drove to work from hers on Monday.

This weekend she was at mine and just after lunch today she started to cry again and said she just wanted to go home, because she just starts to feel down and upset that either one of us has to go home and not see each other until the next weekend... she says she feels down all week and cry's every day... and I feel hopeless on the end of the phone not being able to do anything...

What to do?

Do I move in with her and then commute for the hour every morning (im currently at home living with the parents) or do we look at renting a place together in between where we both live now so the commute isn't bad for either of us? Then there's the 8 year old daughter and the change in school and having to find child-care until either of us get home from work?

Any suggestions or advice would really be appreciated... thanks

Njp

I strongly advise you to not make such permanent arrangements after only 7 months, especially when a child is involved.

Trust me its so easy to get into these live-in arrangements, but so very hard to get out. Things are always great at first, but when the emotional honeymoon is over, after about a year of dating, the real work begins, as you finally see what the other person is really like. Bad idea to make those big changes to a child's life.

Missing someone through the week is not a reason to live together.

What's the hurry?

I 100% agree with Tal. She's trying to control your future with the water works for her own good. As much thought as you are giving to her, she's not giving any to you and how this will affect you currently or in the long run. To be blunt I find it it quite selfish of her to try to control you as your life starts to get better and move forward. If she can't be happy with you or the situation then that is completely her problem and it's one you should not assume.