I was engaged to this woman over ten years ago and then we went our separate ways. I never stopped thinking of her and could never move on with anyone else because of this. During the years we were apart I had been living in Oklahoma and she was in Pennsylvania. I moved back two years ago and shortly after that we started talking again. Things were forgiven and feelings were shared. However she had gotten married and had two children since I had been gone. Anyway, to try and shorten this up a little bit we started having an affair and earlier this year she left her husband to come live with me. She has gotten primary custody of the children and things like that out of the way. The estranged husband has been acting pretty much like a psycho this whole time since the truth was sort of revealed to him. I say sort of because she won't tell him everything and she says she's scared of hurting him. I've said that I would tell him everything and She says she will deny it. Also, the big thing is that I've asked her to divorce him or why she hasn't divorced him and every time she gets irritated and tells me that its her choice and decision and it doesn't concern me. I don't see how it doesn't though as well as a lot of other things that seem to fall into the category of "not my concern or my business." I just need some help,advice, and hopefully some peace of mind... anyone got something for me?

From personal experience: I didn't get divorced right away. Even after I started seeing someone new, and my ex had moved in with his new girlfriend, because I still had reservations about my ex and I getting back together. I hadn't moved on fully, and still entertained ideas that we might get back together. I had to work through that on my own. My boyfriend was very patient. He never pushed me or asked me a bunch of questions about why I hadn't moved forward with the divorce, and because of that I had the space I needed to get over it and move forward with my life. I'm now divorced and things are going wonderfully with my boyfriend now. I think if you really love this woman, you should give her time and trust that her feelings for you are genuine. It's a very difficult thing to get divorced and even if the past relationship wasn't that healthy its still scary and hard to deal with the feelings that come alone with divorce and moving on. If she is worth the wait then be patient and encourage her, but try not to be pushy!!