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jaxology · Feb 10, 2012, 02:09 AM

I met this girl sometime ago last year, at that time she was in love with another guy who is abroad. She says she loves me and she loves him. However, 1 month after me knowing her she broke with the other guy and she went to depression phase. Things did not work out well for both of us so she decided that she wants to be alone. That is just what happened, but, couple of months later at her sister's birthday I bought something for her and her sister and couple of days later I received her call and things went back normal. She says that she didn't have the intention to call and it just happened. Now we have been back together for almost 6 weeks and we kept on talking every now and then,chatting, laughing, taking each other opinion and talking about the future for both of us being together.

However, she went for holiday couple of days ago and she sent me message saying that she hates making me feel bad but she is really afraid it won't work out for both of us and she thinks that she might ruin my plans for the future by letting me wait and not knowing what to go for and the main thing was that she doesn't know if she has to live with me or without me.

I am totally lost and I do not know what to do or how to deal with it.

I wish · Feb 10, 2012, 12:53 PM

Before you worry about what to do, it is important to figure out what you want. Do you really want to be with this girl?

Once you are sure of what you want, then let her know, so that she doesn't misunderstand you. After she knows what you want, then let her sort it out in her mind. You can't force her to do anything that she doesn't want, but you can be clear and honest about your feelings.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2012, 10:19 PM

You have had two chances, and the timing doesn't seem right, and she isn't quite ready for what you want.

I back off and do my own thing while she takes time to see what she wants. If she misses you, she will let you know, but don't get all pushy right now. Matter of fact, I leave her alone and give her the time and space to figure herself out.

Don't get your hopes up though, her mind has to be free of any influence by you. Then you know she is sure, and ready. She just isn't NOW!

jaxology · Feb 11, 2012, 11:57 AM

Talaniman & I Wish,,

I really appreciate the advice. This is what I did, I did not contact her and letting her alone for some time. To be frank, its our nature that we have MIND GAME and its something hard to get rid of, as matter of fact, it is always there whatever we do. So what's going on through my mind is how long should I let her go or when would I realize that she is not mine anymore. Its really hard to figure and I need some help and advice.

Thanks again.

talaniman · Feb 11, 2012, 01:02 PM

Accept she is not yours NOW, and build a life that you enjoy without her.