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    Pearl610's Avatar
    Pearl610 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 1, 2012, 01:40 AM
    Relationship
    Hi so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 yrs and recently we just went off to college we 2 hours away from each other. He have been really stressed out lately because of family problems and taking his anger out on me and not giving me the same amount of time as I've been use to before we went off to college. I've been really sad and mad at the fact that he not understanding where I'm coming from so I broke up with him a few days ago. Now today we were texting and we both explained to each other we want to be together and still in Love with each other but we both feel we not understanding each other feelings anymore. So he decided that we need time apart. I'm confused, can you help. P.S. We tried to take a break before and it didn't work we were back together within two weeks
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2012, 07:26 PM
    If you AND him are still wanting to try to make things work, but are fed up with each other, a break would be great, to relax the relationship and give it another shot. But if either of you are not 100% sure into wanting to give this a real shot, I wouldn't waste my time.
    amandapanda79's Avatar
    amandapanda79 Posts: 3, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Feb 13, 2012, 09:38 PM
    You should continue taking a break from each other. He and you are probably both stressed out over the distance between you along with other circumstances weighing on your minds. He shouldn't take it out on you but you also need to be empathetic about his situation. Forgive and forget... don't take it so personal. He is not lashing out at something you did... it just happened that something you did or said put him over the edge from the rest of his stresses. A much needed break just might do the trick and it will either make you both realize that you can't live without one another or it could make you realize that you don't really need each other at all! Time will tell.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Feb 13, 2012, 11:27 PM
    Long Distance Relationships are difficult with the most dedicated couples. It requires you talk, and listen and through honest communications define the rules and boundaries of the relationship, and make adjustments to get you through it no matter what you are facing.

    You are young and your lives have changed, and no doubt your feelings will also. Plenty of stress for the first time being on your own, and trying to get with a new routine. I suspect that if you both agree to not take each other for granted and find what works for you, you will at least be able to discuss without anger the changes in approach, and behavior to see you through this.

    But if you can't talk, a break won't change that, nor solve your problem. Realize that you are use to each other, and a break only makes you feel, and NOT think. But that's exactly what you both must do, think, before you act or speak, especially him, until he learns to control his words and actions and feelings.

    That may take some time, but its up to you to protect yourself, and do what's right for you. That's starts with being very firm in NOT allowing him to treat you badly, because he is stressed, or having a bad day. Understanding is one thing, out of control is another. You should tell him this in a calm moment, and be prepared to take actions that matches those words if he cannot get himself under control enough to talk.

    If he cannot, a clean break is what you need, but try talking first.
    Pearl610's Avatar
    Pearl610 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 15, 2012, 10:37 PM
    Thanks everybody, you were a lot of help.

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