Hello
Well I don't really know if this is going to help but here it goes, I have recently split up with my girlfriend after 5 years. We have been through more together than most marriages will go through in a life time. I was her first love and everything was amazing. Last year she went to uni in london I live in south wales so there is a little distance between us at the moment but that did not cause much of a problem last year. We had our ups and downs just like any other relationship but we always got through it. This year we went away with her family on a amazing holiday it was unreal and we got on great. This summer has been hard for me due to working a lot and so on.

There is also the fact of I hesitated about moving to london with her at a later date I have always wanted to marry her, and before I never seen a problem about moving there but 1 night this summer we went to the pub and got a little drunk and I was a idiot and said that I don't think I could move to london. Anyway this started a whole load of different conversations through the summer and I think I subconsciously pushed away she said she felt the relationship was falling apart and she said she felt unloved. I do admitt that I haven't been myself for a while as work has been wearing me out and I do think that I didn't show her enough affection and love but at the time I did not realise I was doing it. I loved her so much. I think I just got to comfortable and kind of took her for granted.

So we split up and it broke me into pieces thing is after we broke up I cooked her dinner and bought her flowers and we talked we both got really upset and she turns around and tells me that when we where on holiday if I would have asked her to get married she would have said yes!! So as you can imagine I am in bits by now.

The problem is that we have always talked about splitting up when she went to uni so I think we have both brought it upon ourselves even though deeply we never wanted it to happen.

I want us to get back together as I love her with everything I have and I know she is deeply love sick also. We haven't talked now for 3 weeks because she is directing a play in london so she needs to keep her head clear. We did have a conversation on Facebook and she said she can't talk to me because when I am in her head she can't do anything or concentrate on anything so I am trying to give her space.

I really want us to get back together as I love her so much and want her like never before, and she says she just loves me as a friend so I don't know what to do?/
Please help me!! 11

I understand you want her back like crazy, I also understand you feel like she is everything. However, it seems she does not feel the same way. It seems as if she truly wants to break away from you. You may not like this, but I believe you must leave things where they are at. Start cutting communication down and start making other hobbies to make you get her off your mind. You say "she loves you as a friend", as I see it that's all she wants to be. She seems to be pushing you away, so try to do the same. Only time can tell what will happen, with that said you must be patient and give it time.

Ninja is right. She has made a decision and at this moment the relationship that the two of you did have is not what she wants. You have to accept that for now, and do what you can to move on. It's going to hurt, but in time things will get better. Take the time that you need to grieve and then find you something that you enjoy to help take your mind off things. She may change her mind, but for now you can't assume that. Sometimes people just need some time apart before realizing that they need what they had.

Man, there are some things that are out of your control in this life, and I am sorry to inform you that this is one of those times. All you can really do is tell her how you feel about her but don't chase her as that will only make things worst. When a break up happens decisions have been made by a certain person, and while it would be ideal to make choices together as you are used to this is something that she has to decide by herself. There is a chance that she might notice how much she missed you and come back to you and the other 50 percent is that she might just move on with her life. Regardless of what she chooses at the end, you have no say in it! So back off a bit and give her time to think, tell her how you feel, and let her make her own choices. In the meantime, you work on your stuff, improving yourself, health, work, school, whatever it may be you need to work on, this is the time to do it because as TIME is the only factor that will heal you from this it is a lot easier to make go by faster by keeping yourself busy. So don't wait around for her to change her mind, try to move on, and start doing that now, soon enough either she will change her mind, or you will meet someone that wants to be with you and is willing to love you as more than a friend.

Good Luck,

Javi

Why are we always so shocked when a relationship ends due to OUR lack of participation. A relationship cannot be one sided, if your too tired, to even show affection to the person you so call love, why not be tired enough not to be in shock when it ends.
She is going by what she experienced with you before to make a decision not to pursue any further type of relationship other then friendship.
Life is a continuous learning experience. You may have had to learn this lesson that a relationship worth having is just as hard as working a actual job. Perhaps even more complicated due to the vast emotions of each other.
Maybe this was lifes way of showing you that she really isn't your true other half. Also showing you the when you do find that woman who will love you and stick by you even if your are tired, that you know how to treat that love.