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    Hurtful breakup

    Asked Aug 1, 2009, 12:10 PM 35 Answers
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    I was with my partner for two years. Lately he seemed depressed over his rather overbearing mother and finances. I kept asking him if we were OK and he said we were. I had to go away for a week and came home with swine flu so I was rather poorly. (we did not live together).over the phone we had an argument and he put the phone down on me as he does in such a situation.
    I two days later finished with him but I regret this. But he won't speak to me and I'm heartbroken in bed and just crying. Please help. Thank you.

    Last edited by talaniman; Aug 2, 2009 at 09:08 AM.
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    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:13 PM

    He sounds like he hasn't grown up and allows his mom to control him too much. Get better and get out and meet somebody that knows better how to act in a relationship.
    A momma's boy + hanging up when he doesn't like the discussion=he hasn't grown up.
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #3

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:19 PM

    Thanks I know he is a mummy s boy.I hope I ll meet someone new when I'm ready.
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    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #4

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:20 PM

    How old are you?
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:26 PM

    I'm 46.
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    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:32 PM

    Yep in his 40's and still listening to mommy
    You aren't going to get anywhere with that.
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #7

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:36 PM

    True I suppose. Just a question of getting over all the good memories then?
    At least I ll not have to speak to mama again.
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    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #8

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:40 PM

    Yep when you marry momma's boys you marry mom as well
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    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #9

    Aug 1, 2009, 12:41 PM

    THat is horrible, as old as he is. He is entitled to his own life, it sounds to me like he is attached to his mommy's apron strings. Breakup in a relationship is horrible, and it hurts. Sorrry for you. Maybe he will wake up, and realize he made a huge mistake, but I don't think it would be anytime soon. Did you get along with her?
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    amicon's Avatar
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    #10

    Aug 1, 2009, 01:02 PM

    She runs his life. I managed to get on with her at first but fell out with her about two months ago when she tried to interfere with stuff that
    Was none of her business

    . Ride
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    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #11

    Aug 1, 2009, 01:08 PM
    It sounds to me he is aware of the situation with his mom controlling his life. He just needs to change things and get away from the situation. You mentioned he was upset about finances and his mom. He will stay stuck, unless he thinks for himself. That's very sad, that someone has that much control over someone.
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #12

    Aug 1, 2009, 01:13 PM

    Yes true. But one of the last things he said the last time we spoke was that he just wanted to run away so no one could find him.
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #13

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:03 PM
    I realise its over
    Threads merged.

    He won't have any contact with me and that's that. Its hard to go thro the pain alone. My friends are far away and I can't lean on my therapist 24/7 I just feel so all alone. My friends are busy and my son s got his own life. I wake up in tears every morning. I miss the good things and they were many.
    In my life there have been so much chaos and I ve always had to sort it all on my own. Why?
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    taoplr's Avatar
    taoplr Posts: 415, Reputation: 144
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    #14

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:16 PM
    Everybody has to sort out their own chaos alone. You've got a lot of pain now and with it you've got an opening. As hard as it is, look at what you can learn about the patterns in the chaos. There you will see what you create.

    This will help: Amazon.com: I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead (9780307345301): Byron Katie, Michael Katz: Books

    Tao
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #15

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:20 PM

    Thank you. Just having trouble coping at the moment.
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    taoplr's Avatar
    taoplr Posts: 415, Reputation: 144
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    #16

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    thank you. Just having trouble coping at the moment.
    The more you let this wash through you the more complete will be your release.

    Let go.


    Tao
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #17

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:38 PM
    You re making a lot of sense its just that I ve had three weeks of this and I thought it would start to get better.
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    taoplr's Avatar
    taoplr Posts: 415, Reputation: 144
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    #18

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    you re making a lot of sense its just that i ve had three weeks of this and i thought it d start to get better.
    Enough is enough, one thinks. But the schedule is within you. All I can suggest is to let it pass throughout your being, read the Katie book (You'll be glad you did), get some exercise, get to work, and when you have to cry, cry.

    Tao
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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #19

    Aug 1, 2009, 11:59 PM

    Thanks. I ll do my best.
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    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #20

    Aug 2, 2009, 06:25 AM

    It all takes time, it's going to take time to sort it all out but eventually the dust will settle and you will be feelings a little better each day.
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