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KuKrAzY · Apr 30, 2010, 07:56 PM

Threads merged

All right so my girlfriend always talks about this one girl. I'm suspicious because my friends say she's a lesbian and saw her makeout with her and I don't know if its true or not. So as I was saying she always talks about her. She has sleep overs with her ALL the time. One time I was messing around with her and I was talking about how they should make out and she was like " yes i actually would " and I said I would show my friends that she said that and she said " at least I'm not the guy that goes out with a girl that makes out with another girl and she didn't say she was kidding on anything. Please help because I'm really suspicious

Fr_Chuck · Apr 30, 2010, 07:58 PM

OK, so she cheats on you with another girl? Is that OK with you? Does she care if you cheat on her?

If this is you OK with you and you don't care that she makes out and have sex with others, it is your relationship.

I wish · Apr 30, 2010, 08:17 PM

No need to beat yourself up. Make it simple on yourself. Why not confront her about your suspicions? You can spend all day and night guessing, but you won't know the truth until you talk to her.

If she denies it, then you just have to decide whether you believe her.

If she confirms it, then it's time to call it quits.

talaniman · Apr 30, 2010, 08:22 PM

I take the direct approach and just ask her.

slapshot_oi · May 1, 2010, 12:45 AM

Before you jump the gun here, realize that there's a chance she's just one of those girls that likes the attention she gets from kissing another girl.

I'm not saying it's okay, you still have a right to be angry 'cause it is cheating, but if you're worried that she's a lesbian, you might be overreacting.

Either way, ask her if she's kissed a girl for peace of mind.

Jake2008 · May 1, 2010, 07:11 AM

The issue as I see it, isn't so much about whether she's gay or bi-sexual, but why you allow these doubts you have about her to fester without dealing with them.

If you don't ask her is she's gay, or bi, and continue to feed into rumour from others, and wonder about the meaning of things she says, you are playing a game that will have no resolve.

For all you know, the rumours could simply be rumours without any merit at all.

Set aside some time to talk, just talk. Somewhere quiet without interruption.

See if you can't listen without interruption, or judgment, and allow her to tell you her truth. Allow communication to solve the questions you have, and also allow her the opportunity to talk without fear of your reaction.

Don't you think it's time to find out who your girlfriend is?

Devorameira · May 1, 2010, 12:55 PM

Stop letting it worry you, just ask her straight out.

It'd be better to find out now, than to keep letting it eat at you.

KuKrAzY · May 1, 2010, 08:02 PM

Threads merged

OK so I had a big misunderstanding with my girlfriend and I was going through a rough time of my marents getting devourced. And she had a birthday party without me. But after the fact she then told me that her mom wouldn't let me come. So I was all pissed off and saying stupid things I never meant. I tried to appoligize and stuff but of what I said didn't effectt anything. I sill love her a lot but I'm just really lost. What would you do if you were me?

alesha8781 · May 1, 2010, 08:14 PM

I would write her a sincere apology. Not in a text or over Facebook, on a real piece of paper or on a card from a store. Consider buying flowers, when my boyfriend makes me extremely angry, he gets flowers. That does not mean she will not still be angry with you though. If you do that she will realize that you are truly are sorry, but she might still be hurt and angry. It may not be something you can make up to her. It may be something she needs time to forgive you for.

I'm thinking there is more to this story though. How old are you? How long have you been dating? Why didn't her mother want you at her birthday party? That doesn't make sense to me, unless you did something to disrespect her family or her that her parents know about.

Remember in the future that while you may have things going on in your life that are hurting you, it is not right to take it out on others. Saying hurtful things to someone just to make them feel as bad as you do is never the right thing to do, especially to those you love. I would never say hurtful things to someone I love just because I was going through a bad time. If you love each other, they will be there for you when you are hurting, but if you hurt them back prepare to lose them on top of everything else.