Hi everyone

You might have read an earlier post of mine. Doesn't matter if not! Im feeling really lost at the moment. I thought I was going well with myself after my breakup. I was not contacting my ex at all. I haven't heard from her for 5 weeks. Then suddenly for the last week I just keep thinking about her, what she is doing, is she is dating again, if she is sleeping with someone else. I know I can't control her life, but these thoughts run through my head constantly.

She was my first girlfriend. I was her first boyfriend. We lost our virginity to each other. I told her things no one else knows. I loved her... if I loved her why did it have to end?? :(

Now I'm a little scared that I can never find anyone else again :( . I can't see how I can have feelings for someone else so soon. I don't want to jump into seeing someone else now because it won't be fair to them. I don't want any one night stands either. I just want to know when this feeling will go away... the feeling of knowing my ex is out there somewhere, in a world we once shared and now has been completetly changed for me. The feeling that she is happily moving on and forgetting me.

I also feel guilty that it was my fault for the breakup, even though I did nothing wrong at all. I don't want this to haunt me forever, I don't want it intruding in my next relationship. Im very scared I will never move on. Help!!

I just want to let you know that yes, it is possible to love again.

You know what, it might seem like a long time but this feeling will fade with time.

When you least expect it, guess what will happen, you will fall in love again.

Joe

Haha, don't worry I know its hard, right now you just need to try to focus on other things like try to get yourself involved in a bunch of things and you'll find someone else, fall for her and then guess what you'll be in love again. Its really hard to get over your first love, I know, and it takes time, the reasone your realationship ended was because she didn't feel the same way about you, I'm sorry.
Yes you will be able to love again. Mabye not right now.

Don't FORCE IT, happiness and love is like a butterfly, you could go chasing them your whole life and never catch them, its when you sit down and relax when they come and land on you. Be patient, I know its hard but you will be fine, there are PLENTY of other fish in the sea.

Good Luck

It takes time my friend... u need to cut off all contact w/ her or it will drag your emotions on forever... trust me!! U don't want that

I know its hard, the same thing happened to me just over 2 weeks ago. I wouldn't say we were in love, but we were both each others firsts as well. But as blueshadow_393 said sadly she didn't feel the same about you as you did for her. It is harder to move on when your not ready to let go, but its for the best. Yeah she may go out and date others, but she may also come to realise what's she's lost as they might not compare to you. You might have moved on by then emotionally, if she ever does what you back. But don't rely on that. She's now in your past so think about the future; that doesn't include her. Im just relying on company from my friends and family. When I have people around me it makes me feel much better as it takes my mind off thinking about my ex.
The whole its my fault thing, even though its not. Just keep reminding yourself there's nothing you could have done. Even though it didn't turn out the way you wanted, it was meant to be and you just have to deal with the situation.

Its funny because I feel sometimes I am moving on quite well. Then I begin to realise I am not. For instance, I see a car similar to hers on the road. My heart skips a beat.. I get nervous. I talked to an ex - friend of hers too... she saw her at a party. Just even HEARING someone SAW her sends me into panic! It sounds horrible, since I care for her, but I would like to eliminate as much of her from my life as possible right now. I have never dealt with a human being this way before, its totally a first for me. Any contact with her will send me back many steps. Its totally weird.


My fear is not being able to trust easily again. I am going to see another girl as another heartache waiting to happen. I know I have to sccept that this may happen, but its very scary. If I can't trust easily how am I going to be able to love again? If I'm paranoid and insecure about myself how can this help being able to love? Hmm... :(

Your feeelings are normal, and human as it shows you cared deeply. All of us here have gone through the very same thing and I know that first love is the best and hardest to overcome. Trust me, if you give yourself a chance to heal and get healthy, not only will you love again, but will be happy. Time and staying busy with positive people doing positive things will get you there.