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Bounce81 · Jul 24, 2012, 05:07 AM

My girlfriend broke up with me 2weeks ago, there was no one else involved but the problem is is that she said she needs to be on her own from now on and it's all because of a previous relationship she was in where she was physically abused by the pig she was with, she's been in relationships in between that one and ours and she said she thought she was ready this time but her heads a mess again, I want to help and stay for her but she doesn't want that as its not fair on me but I can't bear been apart from her and seen us been together for a long time, she never spoke to anyone professional but she and her sisters told me she can only help herself and they can't even help her! What can I do because it's killing me seen her like this and been away from her and not been able to help!!

joypulv · Jul 24, 2012, 05:15 AM

There is nothing you can do. She has made her choices about getting help or not, about relationships, about you. Maybe she wants it this way, despite what she says. Write her a letter (not an email) saying you are there for her and still care.

Bounce81 · Jul 24, 2012, 06:05 AM

Thanks,
I did ask would she talk to sumone other than her family but she won't but I did say I was always there for her and we parted on good enough terms but it's hard because I never did anything for her to doubt me but maybe she thinks a relationship shouldn't be as good as what she had with me and got scared, it's hard to move on when I feel so helpless!

joypulv · Jul 24, 2012, 06:13 AM

Yes, we almost all of us have been through something like this (small consolation, I know).
Maybe you can hang out here and start giving advice or at least tell other people what you know about what they are going through.
There might be a lot of truth in your statement 'maybe she thinks a relationship shouldn't be as good as what she had with me.'
Many people deny themselves the pleasure of a good relationship, for many reasons. Hers might go back to before the awful one she mentions. She might just not feel good enough for someone 'good.' It's something she has to work out on her own.

Bounce81 · Jul 24, 2012, 06:25 AM

Haha I don't know about giving out advice there! I'm afraid that's what she'll go back to, an abusive relationship! After so many meaningless relationships I've been in I thought this was it because we're both at a good age(30's) and not like we're love struck teenagers and things were great before this so it's tough to move on!