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    Whispering7's Avatar
    Whispering7 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Oct 20, 2007, 06:56 PM
    The other woman
    I am the other woman. I have been with the same man for 7 1/2 years. He is not legally married but he is living with a woman. I am tired of his lies. The guilt of being the other woman which I only found out about 5 1/2 years into our relationship is effecting me physically. My question is do I tell her about our affair or do I walk away and hope that she finds out on her own? I feel more responsible for his cheating than he does.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #2

    Oct 20, 2007, 07:25 PM
    Good grief! Stop wasting your life. Walk away with lips sealed, and never look back.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Oct 20, 2007, 07:43 PM
    Really, what would you gain by telling the wife?

    Walk away and get a healthy relationship.
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
    Full Member
    		  
    #4

    Oct 20, 2007, 08:40 PM
    Maybe HE will resent your telling HER. He has strung you along past the point of any logical reasoning. She is not the cause of your resentment. He is. You said it yourself, "I feel more responsible for his cheating than he does"
    lovie1's Avatar
    lovie1 Posts: 104, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Dec 27, 2007, 11:07 AM
    I would end it cause he's never going to be with you and if he does leave the other woman it will be just that easier for him to cheat or leave you. Too much bull you deserve better. It's no future in it.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #6

    Dec 27, 2007, 11:12 AM
    Well, as much as people on this forum are right in telling you to leave, obviously it's a bit hard to leave after 7.5 years.

    I'm only 21... 7.5 years ago, I was still trying to figure out the whole shaving thing. Yeah.

    My question is... how does a guy get another woman and lie to you about it for 5.5 years? Are you guys not that close? I ask this because although I may not KNOW where my girlfriend (ex now) is at all times, there are some obvious clues as to what they were doing/who they were talking to...

    The fact that he's been living with another woman and you never knew... really weirds me out.

    Sadly, the truth is, leave the guy. Not worth it. Apparently, he's very good at lying + cheating.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Dec 27, 2007, 11:53 AM
    I wonder what ever happened to the OP. She posted this thread on October 20 and has not been back.

    She never updated. I wonder if she walked away or confronted the wife.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #8

    Dec 27, 2007, 11:59 AM
    Isn't it funny... how someone posts in oct... and after a while, a bored person will post something, and then everyone climbs on it?. we really need to find more hobbies.
    Whispering7's Avatar
    Whispering7 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #9

    Feb 15, 2010, 05:45 PM

    Hello Everyone, Thank you for all your responses. I did not tell his wife. Why hurt her, she was as innocent as I was. I did walk away, ignored all his calls and messages. Even when he showed up at me door I did not answer. To this day he still calls me, I still ignore him :o) I have met the most wonderful man, yes he is single. It's the first thing I made sure of. We our building a relationship built on trust and truth!!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #10

    Feb 16, 2010, 12:41 AM

    Thanks for the update and enjoy your honest relationship.
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #11

    Feb 16, 2010, 01:28 AM

    Wow, an update 2 years later!
    That has to be a record of some sort.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #12

    Feb 16, 2010, 06:57 AM

    Wow, no kidding about the update. Happy to hear things worked out in his favor
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