All right well, as I wrote in my last post, I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend, lets call this one Bob. It's been getting better lately though because of NC... even though we talk for maybe a minute every now and then. Overall, I have been feeling really lonely and so I thought I was kind of starting to reconnect with my first ex boyfriend, we'll call this one Frank. I was really wrong. After he made it clear to me that the odds of that happening were slim to none, I figured that I'd make myself feel better about everything by hooking up with one of my best friends. Wrong again. I did hook up with my best friend except it didn't make me feel better at all. I later moved on to another hookup, Frank's cousin. After this, I felt really guilty and decided to tell Frank about what went down, except I'm not too sure he was happy about it, even though he claimed not to care. Now, after all this, I feel gross. I'm the type of girl who only kisses a guy when she likes him. I don't do random hook-ups. Its just not my thing. It only took me two hook-ups to start feeling like I'm not worth more than a sex toy. I just miss the attention from guys, having a guy to cuddle with or to call me baby... even if it only lasts a hook-up. How do I stop feeling that way and start feeling like the only person I need to be happy is myself?