Fred - that girl when you were 20 could have been your lover. There are a few things you can do to make them change. It depends on how good friends you are. These are not tricks, or mind games - but matters of the human heart. You probably, at no fault, were too availablr to that person - not aloof - didn't slowly progress to the next stage.
In early stages of romance you should NEVER say how you feel - show it! Do little nice things.
If you had just maybe not made yourself as available, not return calls right away, break a friendship date and change your attitude AND waited it out - you could have had that person.
I highly suggest checking this sight out:
www.lovetactics.com