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    Elousia's Avatar
    Elousia Posts: 86, Reputation: 6
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    #1

    Jun 21, 2009, 08:50 PM
    This is okay? Ill just stay decide to leave u but stay with u for 8 months
    Let me quote this from another thread...


    She didn't just wake up and change her mind, she has thought of this for a long time. YOU are the one who is just finding out.


    To make things worse, I have strong evidence that she has entered a rebound relationship, with a guy she met only 3 days after the breakup

    She was moving away from you for some time now, you didn't know it.



    How does a girl do this to a guy whom she knows is so in love with them... not to mention let him go on believing in such a huge future together?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Jun 21, 2009, 08:55 PM

    She's not in love with him, that's how she can do it.

    What, she's supposed to stay just because you love her? It doesn't work that way.

    Love is a two way street, why stay in a relationship if it's not what you want?

    It's better to get out and move on, not stay and be miserable.
    Elousia's Avatar
    Elousia Posts: 86, Reputation: 6
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    #3

    Jun 21, 2009, 08:57 PM
    But if she doesn't love the guy, why would she continue to live with him and lie to him for 6-12 months while she is moving on... how fair is that? Ya sure life isn't fair but common, u stay with a guy for that long even though you don't love them?
    Elousia's Avatar
    Elousia Posts: 86, Reputation: 6
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    #4

    Jun 21, 2009, 09:00 PM

    The minute she doesn't love the guy she shouldn't stay... she should leave... but no... he/she, in this case she... and in my case she stayed with me for probably close to a year while she didn't love me, and had me fall for him all the more in the meanwhile...


    What is that?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Jun 21, 2009, 09:00 PM

    It's not always easy to leave, to admit that it's over, even if you don't love someone.

    When you're in a relationship you want to make it work, you rationalize with yourself even though deep down you know that it's going to fail.

    Now might be a good time for you to tell us exactly what's going on.
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
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    #6

    Jun 21, 2009, 09:01 PM

    Some people don't have a conscience and no regards for others' feelings.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #7

    Jun 21, 2009, 09:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Elousia View Post
    the minute she doesnt love the guy she shouldn't stay....she should leave....but no.....he/she, in this case she....and in my case she stayed with me for probably close to a year while she didnt love me, and had me fall for him all the more in the meanwhile....


    what is that?
    That is how women back out of relationships. They understand emotions better then men. That is why you have to pay attention at all times and if she backs off, you back off. Always.
    Elousia's Avatar
    Elousia Posts: 86, Reputation: 6
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    #8

    Jun 22, 2009, 03:19 AM

    Chuff, your right, in countless threads here, when a guy is talking about his ex, they always seem to have "moved" on, and the reason for such is because this is how they back out of relationships.

    Time to man up for the guy who was left, chances are he should have left but forgot about his balls, integrity and showed weakness.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #9

    Jun 22, 2009, 05:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Elousia View Post
    Chuff, your right, in countless threads here, when a guy is talking about his ex, they always seem to have "moved" on, and the reason for such is because this is how they back out of relationships.
    The pattern is always the same. If you step back and just look at it as behavior and not personalities, the behavior in human beings follows a similar pattern during break ups. It's not easy to see when you in the middle of it, but it's clear when you watch it from the outside.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elousia View Post
    Time to man up for the guy who was left, chances are he should have left but forgot about his balls, integrity and showed weakness.
    Now if you change your behavior the guy who got left knows what not to do next time, so he got a life lesson and she got nothing. Life lessons last forever and her moment is already over so in the end it was you after all who won and got something while she'll repeat her behaviors again and again in essence losing.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #10

    Jun 22, 2009, 05:58 AM

    Sometimes people don't want to admit that their relationship failed, they are scared to be alone so they wait until they find something better or someone else they can jump into
    winding200's Avatar
    winding200 Posts: 167, Reputation: 40
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    #11

    Jun 22, 2009, 06:01 AM

    It reminds me my girlfriend's situation, which makes her miserable recently.
    One of my girl friends met a very successful man, and the man treated her very well in the beginning. Of course, she fell in love with him. However, the man backed off, and he told her he does not have any intention to get married or even being exclusive, and he likes to see other women as well for a couple years to find out what is out there. However He asked her to keep dating him as "one of his girls" since he may change his mind in future.
    I could not believe this jerk, but my girl friend is very confused and heart broken, She even consider to stay with him!! I told her to have self- esteem & integrity to leave him, but she is so weak, and her happiness is totally depend on this jerk (it seems to me). She is saying that "if i do my best to please him, he may will leave all the girls behind, and choose me one day, and marry me." Can you believe this? My girl friend is so attractive and successful woman, and many guys hit on her. How should I help her to move on? If it was me, I even think about it twice, and say good bye to him in front of his face. I am so sad I cannot make her strong at this point... She is in deep depression now. The worst part is I cannot force her too hard, because she will blame me if she loose him completely. (In my eyes she already lost him, but she is not seeing it. Why does she want to be with him while he is cheating on her?? It does not make any sense to me.

    We should love ourselves before love someone. Don't be a fool for someone who try to use you or fill their gaps. Don't allow anyone to do it to you!

    If any man or woman makes you cry or heartbroken, they are not worth it. If they are worth for your life, they will never make you cry or heartbroken.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #12

    Jun 22, 2009, 06:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Elousia View Post
    but if she doesn't love the guy, why would she continue to live with him and lie to him for 6-12 months while she is moving on.....how fair is that? Ya sure life isnt fair but common, u stay with a guy for that long even though you dont love them?
    This only happens when the attraction is one-sided and the whole relationship is off-balance.

    That entire six to twelve month period she was window shopping for someone else.

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