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    Kennywags's Avatar
    Kennywags Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 24, 2013, 07:07 AM
    Is it OK to have a crush while in a relationship?
    My Boyfriend and I have only been dating for 5 months, but we've been talking for over a year. Unfortunately he is going through military training right now and I only see him maybe every 3 months, and I get a 2 minute phone call every month. I know I love him, and I don't want to leave him, but I started developing a crush on another guy. I would never cheat, EVER, But this guy is really starting to make me feel bad about having a crush on him. Also, this guy knows I have a boyfriend. So... Is this bad?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jan 24, 2013, 07:10 AM
    Is this bad? No not bad, but you just said you would never cheat, but you are considering this other guy.

    Have the courage of your convictions.
    Kennywags's Avatar
    Kennywags Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 24, 2013, 07:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    Is this bad? No not bad, but you just said you would never cheat, but you are considering this other guy.

    Have the courage of your convictions.
    I'm not considering him, but he flirts with me a lot and I'm not sure how to handle it because I sort of like the attention.
    FightingBlues's Avatar
    FightingBlues Posts: 78, Reputation: 21
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    #4

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:40 AM
    Maybe you're enjoying the attention because you're craving the same form of attention from your boyfriend whose time talking and seeing you is quite limited.
    FightingBlues's Avatar
    FightingBlues Posts: 78, Reputation: 21
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    #5

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:46 AM
    If something tells you it's not right to entertain such thoughts, then I would suggest you put an end to his flirting (if you think he's trying to get at something) by telling him you find it inappropriate. If you allow it to persist knowing that this other guy may want to go out with you at some point, then you're not being very loyal to your boyfriend who you say you love deeply. If the flirting is harmless and won't go beyond the flirting then I'd just let it be. However, I do think you should limit your time with this other person so that they don't get the impression you like them back and would leave your boyfriend for them. Otherwise, imagine how awkward it would be if you had to reject their offer, not to mention how your boyfriend would feel if he found out you were encouraging the company of someone who is majorly crushing on you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jan 24, 2013, 08:51 AM
    A crush will lead to talking which leads to hanging out.
    That leads to date ( even if informal) and it leads to cheating.

    A crush is for Jr high, as a adult you have desires or interest.

    You can think, you can deam, but you don't act on it. How does this guy know you have a crush, he should not even have a slightest idea unless you have already acted on it.

    Next boyfriend needs to now more than ever to write him real letters every day and be true to him, not out wanting or thinking of someone else already. How long has he been gone
    Kennywags's Avatar
    Kennywags Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 24, 2013, 12:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    How long has he been gone
    He's been gone since October 5th
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