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Caszoohouse · Dec 27, 2012, 07:26 AM

My fiancé & I have been together for 3 yrs. We have been living together for 1 1/2 yrs. We use to have sex 3-4 times a day. Now its only like twice a mth. 2 yrs ago I was raped & it took me a very long time to be comfortable enough to let him touch me. He was very understanding about it. But there were a lot of times he wanted to but I just wasn't "in the mood". Now I find myself arguing with him a lot about why he never touches me or wants to have sex with me. We are always together so I know he can't be cheating on me. So why won't he try to have sex with me?

maidah4 · Dec 27, 2012, 09:42 AM

Were u raped by him or someone else? Well, everything loses its charm after a specific period. Since you guys were overdoing it, now it might have lost the feeling it used to give. Men are more likely to be more desperate and to even get fed up soon.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 27, 2012, 10:55 AM

Instead of arguing with him about sex why don't you ask him why you two are not having sex more often. Tell him you appreciate his patience with you before but you are no longer having a problem.
Don't have this conversation in the bedroom, have it away from anything sexual. Tell him how this makes you feel.

Caszoohouse · Dec 27, 2012, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by maidah4

were u raped by him or someone else? well, everything loses its charm after a specific period of time. Since you guys were overdoing it, now it might have lost the feeling it used to give. Men are more likely to be more desperate and to even get fed up soon.

It was by someone else.

talaniman · Dec 27, 2012, 03:36 PM

I suspect other things are going on in your lives besides lack of sex. What could it be?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 27, 2012, 03:45 PM

Also often a man gets tired of hearing no, and gets used to not having sex. It sounds like there is a lot more going on here, I would assume perhaps money issues? Or problems with other areas of your life ?

If you and he can not just talk about this without arguing, there are serious issues at this point.

Perhaps marriage counseling could be helpful

Caszoohouse · Dec 27, 2012, 03:47 PM

Well for the past three months he has hardly had any work. Maybe a weeks worth every 3-4 weeks. I know he is stressed about that. Could that be the problem?

& its not him that argues. Its basically me that does it. Telling him I think he's getting it somewhere else or that he's not attracted to me anymore. Im bipolar & sometimes my emotions get the best of me.

teacherjenn4 · Dec 27, 2012, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by Caszoohouse

& its not him that argues. Its basically me that does it. Telling him I think hes getting it somewhere else or that hes not attracted to me anymore. Im bipolar & sometimes my emotions get the best of me.

That could be a big turn-off beside the fact that he isn't working much. Time for a pleasant conversation that takes place outside of the bedroom. Let him talk about what is bothering him, then you can respond. Too much togetherness can be an issue too. Don't you ever spend time apart?

Caszoohouse · Dec 27, 2012, 03:58 PM

Never. Only when he's out looking fir work or I go grocery shopping. That is the ONLY time we are apart.

teacherjenn4 · Dec 27, 2012, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by Caszoohouse

Never. Only when hes out looking fir work or I go grocery shopping. That is the ONLY time we are apart.

Are you able to get out of the house? If so, visit friends, go to museums, library, volunteer at a senior center, etc. Having your own lives makes people more interesting.