Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    confused63's Avatar
    confused63 Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Aug 20, 2009, 03:28 AM
    No Contact Rule- Does it really work?
    I recently ended a 5 yr involvement with a man I cared very deeply for. This all took place just about 6 weeks ago when I sent him an email telling him the reasons as to why we couldn't be together for right now.

    I haven't said a word to him since and really have no intention of doing so. It was suggested that I give it at least a month of No Contact for any possibility of reconciliation. I have taken the advice and haven't heard a word from him

    Now I am beginning to wonder if this Rule actually works. Can somebody please help?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Aug 20, 2009, 03:52 AM
    You say you wrote him an email stating your reasons-could you not have told him face to face? And were/are your reasons for not wanting to be with him your last word? If so why does it seem like you want to reconcile? NC is for self healing not for an attempt at reconcilliation
    Why did you want to split up with him?More facts please.
    confused63's Avatar
    confused63 Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Aug 20, 2009, 04:03 AM

    The reason for me breaking up was to send him the message that I no longer am willing to accept certain behaviors that I don't wish to discuss on a public forum.

    The reason as to why I asked the question was I have been told that NC yes should be used to start the healing process but that it will cause the other person to start to miss the other person start to miss you as in the saying
    Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #4

    Aug 20, 2009, 04:15 AM
    After most breakups I assume both people involved miss the other person.the way I read your second post is that you re hoping he misses you and will get in touch?so far he hasnt- so it must be up to you whether you want to change your mind and contact him.His response to your email is silence-we can only speculate why this is so.
    snow124's Avatar
    snow124 Posts: 116, Reputation: 28
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Aug 20, 2009, 05:12 AM
    The purpose of No Contact is to get over your ex and move on with your life. It isn't to get back together with them. It sounds like he's employing it better than you are.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #6

    Aug 20, 2009, 05:17 AM

    Making the heart grow fonder and making someone miss you has nothing to do with actually fixing the relationship. The thing about all these people saying "at least 30 days NC" is that even if the significant other comes back, that doesn't mean the relationship is magically fixed. Love isn't always enough. Missing someone and actually working on flaws of the relationship are two totally different things.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #7

    Aug 20, 2009, 07:25 AM
    Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

    You have quite a history with this guy and I strongly suggest you stay with NC, forever.

    Obviously you broke up with him at this time last year, and took him back, against what we were saying then, so you already know what the outcome will be if you take him back again. What makes you think he will change in 30 days, if he hasn't in 5 years.

    The sex may have been great, but not worth 5 years of your life with this idiot. Why keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, and expect different results. That's a classic case of insanity, and you need to break that cycle. That's what NO CONTACT FOREVER can do for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by snow124 View Post
    The purpose of No Contact is to get over your ex and move on with your life. It isn't to get back together with them. It sounds like he's employing it better than you are.
    Sweet_Guy23's Avatar
    Sweet_Guy23 Posts: 304, Reputation: 27
    Full Member
    		  
    #8

    Aug 20, 2009, 08:33 AM
    No contact is priceless...

    Your're not doing to regain someone... you do to build yourself back up to where you need to be... again...

    Don't expect for you guys to get back together...

    Work on yourself...
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #9

    Aug 20, 2009, 04:33 PM

    No contact is a way for YOU to recover, not as a net to catch your ex back. The quicker you learn that, the sooner you will realize you are better off.
    Xemnas's Avatar
    Xemnas Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #10

    Aug 20, 2009, 11:25 PM

    The NC rule only works in certain situations depends on how serious the relationship was
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Too late for no contact rule to work? [ 13 Answers ]

When my ex and I broke up, he insisted on maintaing a friendship. Since I usually do everything to please everyone else, I obliged. It was difficult and he seemed to be playing games. One day he would txt constantly and then I wouldn't hear from him for days. After a few weeks of this torture I...

What to do AFTER no contact rule [ 58 Answers ]

Hey all, So my g/f broke up with me after 3 yrs due to lost of passion and being too dependent on each other, and things getting routine by spending almost every day together. I got the dreaded "need space", "independence", and "can we stay friends".I learned quickly that being friends after a...

No Contact Rule. [ 49 Answers ]

Here is something I have found about the no contact rule. I hope it helps others as much as me. So, you’ve had your heart broken, probably begged and tried to convince your ex to get back together with you and failed. Realising that staying in contact is causing you more pain than you can...

No contact rule [ 3 Answers ]

My girlfriend dumped me because I would not have sex. I see her at school and I am trying the no contact rule for a month. But school is over in a few days and I need my stuff back. She has a belt with my last name on it. How do I get it back without breaking the rule?

View more questions Search