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    8484's Avatar
    8484 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 4, 2008, 06:10 PM
    New mom with abusive boyfriend
    I just recently had a baby boy 4 months ago, and I have never been happier (about that).
    The father of my son and I moved in together 2 months after I found out I was pregnant(we were going to anyway this just happened sooner). I fell in love with our apartment because it was a safe place for my son and there were lots of things for me and him to do in that area. My boyfriend hated the place right away telling me that I was "white" for wanting to live in that area and after we moved constantly commenting on where we were
    (mind you Im 4 months pregnant at the time). After being there for one month I was on the internet typing in a web address that began with the letter h and the website hot or not came up, so I went in to see what he was looking at and found a profile he had made listing his current job and age. He was advertising for women that wanted to f***. So I looked a little more in the history and found a whole bunch of profiles on dating sites with his current info. When I confronted him he got very short and angry with me and then invited his cousin over for the weekend to party after I just found all this out. Our relationship went down from there and every time we fought he would push me, get in my face and scream at me to the point were he was spitting on my (this is pegnency week 6 through 9), and then going to his family and telling them that Im sycho and crazy because of crying and screaming at him every time he hurt me. He also loved to roll his eyes at me every time I would complain about anything uncomfortable or painful during my pregnancy. By the ninth month we got in one last fight were he had pushed me and I landed on my tailbone pretty hard and someone walking past our window saw him do it and called the police when they arrived I had already made to the parking lot of our complex trying to get away from him when his family arrived calling me crazy, f***ing nuts, and yelling at me the cops told them if they don't leave he'll arrest them so they left, and so did my boyfriend, and I went to the hospital to make sure the baby was OK. After I gave birth our relationship surprisingly got a lot better, we were almost like we were before all this happened, but now his family and him discuss our relationship behind my back and they continue to believe that I started all the fights and problems in our relationship because he never admitted to them what he did. I want my son to grow up with a father and I want to be with my boyfriend aside from the problems with his family, how do I get him to tell the truth and clear my name so my son can have a good life with mom and dad not fighting
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #2

    Mar 4, 2008, 06:26 PM
    You may not want to hear this but his family is the least of your worries.
    You are living with a ticking bomb... how could he be so mean to you and you pregnant with his child. He should have been locked up.
    Believe me there are a lot worse things than a child growing up with out a dad. I am a true believer in sticking it out but if it is going to cost you or your child's life I say get out. Unless he got some into type of counseling to help manage and understand his anger more than likely his old behavior will start up again.
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 4, 2008, 09:04 PM
    You also might want to think about the example he will set for your child. If your baby boy grows up learning this abusive behavior from his father, he himself might be inclined to treat women similarly in his adult life. I mean, I hate for a child to not have both his parents in his life, but you really have to think about the negative influence he can have on your son. I wouldn't give up now, but if his behavior doesn't change you really need to weigh what's best for the child. He doesn't sound like the type of guy that is mature enough and responsible enough to raise a child right now. He really needs to grow up and learn the proper way to treat women. I think bushg is right that he needs to get some behavior counseling.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 4, 2008, 10:45 PM
    Get some counseling as the others have said and if he doesn't, do what it takes to protect your child, even if leaving before someone gets hurt becomes necessary. Your child deserves better, and so do you.

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