Check out some similar questions!

whalesmile · Oct 29, 2007, 12:17 PM

I've been in a relationship with a guy for almost 2 years now, and before that, I was with another guy for 3 years. I really didn't have any time in between the two of them, because my current boyfriend swept me off my feet so fast, I was crazy for him. Recently, I've been feeling more distant. Do you guys think it's a necessary part of life to be single at some point, to learn about who you are, what you like and don't like as an individual? I mean, at times I feel so lost with me, with who I am, and I think that's hurting our relationship. But is it worth it to be single for a bit? Worth ending a relationship for that?
Need some advice

kanicky73 · Oct 29, 2007, 12:31 PM

This is a very close subject to my heart and I can only give you my own opinion. I was never single for a very very long time. When I was in high school I started dating a guy, ended up marrying him. We divorced and then I was in another relationship right away, this went on for many many years. It wasn't until my break up last year with my boyfrind of 4 1/2 years that I realized I needed to find myself and discover my own identity. I was single for about 7 months and it was the best 7 months of my life. Some may say that wasn't long enough but it was enough for me to figure out what I needed to figure out. I think when we are always in a relationship we sort of conform in some way to the other persons personality and interests and we kind of lose ourselves. I am so much happier now that I know exactly who I am and it took being single for a while to realize that.

BkBluOne · Oct 29, 2007, 01:45 PM

I'm kind of in the same situation, I haven't been really really single since 2000... I broke up with 'the love of my life' in June and stopped seeing the rebound guy in August... now I met someone who seems to be the sweetest... I don't really have advice... just a note to say you are not alone

statictable · Oct 29, 2007, 04:28 PM

This is a very interesting concept. Skip all the peer related lessons, experiences, failures, triumphs, joys and sorrows and simply leap-frog to your comfort zone. It's interesting because it was tried several thousand years ago and fell out of favor because of the delayed response principal (DRP) which is very close to what you are contemplating. There's one thing you can do to lighten your burden. 1; Sit with your current boy friend and make a long list of those areas you wish to explore for the first time and grade them from 1 to 100, 100 being the most important. Now while your making your list which must include a minimum of 225 items have your boy friend make the same type of list and have him list and grade items he would chose if he were in your shoes. 2; For each completed list you then assign a "time period" (in weeks) deemed fit for standard exploration (SE) of that item. Do this for both lists. 3; add up the times and note the total at the top of each list. 4; Now subtract your total time from his total time (his time will be longer than yours.) If the difference is greater than 87 weeks you stay with your partner. If the difference is less than 87 weeks you part company and go about your life.

This technique was perfected during the Dark Ages and was proven time after time to be quite accurate. Best wishes.

Jiser · Oct 29, 2007, 05:13 PM

A partner should never make your life. You should be happy alone. If you feel you need that then explain that to your partner and go your separate ways. It would be nice if one day you could remember the good times, so end on a good note.