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    bush's Avatar
    bush Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 3, 2008, 07:12 PM
    Is NC ever the worng plan of action
    Hey.. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 5 months ago. After some on/off contact and meet ups, Ive finally given her space she wanted. Have been doing NC for month now.. just wondering if there are some girls put there that want you do put in the work.. to be won back.. who may be reluctant to make the first move back if they ended it. During our relationship she was the initiator, so should I be puttin in some work now? I may just be having lapse but was just wondering? Thanks
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #2

    Jul 3, 2008, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bush
    just wonderin if there are some girls put there that want you do put in the work.. to be won back.. who may be reluctant to make the first move back if they ended it. During our relationship she was the initiator, so should I be puttin in some work now? I may just be havin lapse but was just wonderin? Thanks
    I belong in an old school. Initiating, Chasin & woing is the guys job...
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #3

    Jul 3, 2008, 10:53 PM
    Well I think you have to give more details... If this break-up was all her idea than no I don't think chasing her makes sense... She knows where you are, and last she knew you still wanted to be in this relationship. On the other hand if you ended the relationship it is definitely up to you get her back.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jul 4, 2008, 08:15 AM
    No Contact is for you to have a chance to let the emotional dust settle enough to see things as they are, and make reasonable decisions for yourself, based on facts, and not just feelings.

    After 3 years, there should have been a bond from good communications and a willingness to work through your problems and issues. Clearly this hasn't happen even though you both gave it a shot, so maybe its time to move on, since she clearly wanted space. As far as chasing someone, and fighting for them, that's another form of begging I think, and if talking and listening didn't work, neither will begging. Give her what she wants, and heal, and better yourself. Never know what comes later, so the point is get ready for the next chapter of your life.
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