Guys,

Im really confused and would appreciate some advice. I spent nearly a year in the company of
A young woman (26) getting to know her and her me. We spent a reasonable amount of time together
But nothing sexual. We are from different cultures so we discussed the issues surrounding a
Mixed relationship like adults. We've both been burnt in previous relationships and thought it
Would good to try and understand each other before diving into a 'proper relationship.' Anyway
It seemed to me we were both getting on really well so I decided to tell her I wanted to be more,
Than friends and wanted to take this to the next level.

When I told her this, she told me I had got the wrong impression! This was six months ago and believe,
Me I was really confused backed then and very hurt. When she told me this I took it on the chin and walked
Away. No drama, no stupid 'I love messages' etc etc. Moving on 6 months down the line a mutual friend contacted
Me for lunch. We met up and all he would talk about was her and made some exscuse's up she was under a lot of stress
At the time etc, etc.

Here's why Im confused, he also said she had started dating but didn't really want people to know, and when I said
That's great good luck to her, he said he wasn't exactly sure if she was or not and I didn't hear it from him. Im sure this
Sound really childish and stupid but why would he mention her after 6 months when he knows I haven't contacted her
Because I wanted to move on? He's not stupid, doesn't he realise I don't want to talk about her?

Any insight, advice appreciated.

A the mutual friend is gossiping so just go by what you do know from her.

You told her you wanted to take it to the next level. She didn't want to. It may have made her feel awkward around you.
The best thing is let it go. She moved on in her life and it doesn't matter if she is or isn't seeing anybody else. The fact is IF she wants to see you she will get it out to you one way or another to get back in touch with her.
Until then just let it go and the past in the past.

He may have just wanted to get a reaction out of you. Ignore it.

He could be wanting to ask her out but wanted to make sure you were over her by your reaction

When you aren't emotionally involved in a situation sometimes it is easy to forget someone's feelings who is. He may have believed that you were comfortable talking about the situation because you had moved on and the fact that you allowed him to continue the conversation for some time without ever addressing the fact that you weren't interested in updates, probably lead him to believe that the conversation was kosher.

If the conversation isn't kosher, it is up to you to address that fact. If after addressing your friend doesn't take your feelings into consideration then you have a reason to be upset because he is disrespecting your friendship.

Why didn't you just tell him you didn't want to talk about her? That would have nipped things in the bud, and prevented old feelings from being stirred up.

Curiosity on your part, about what the female was doing, huh?

Let it go.