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    billiepidge's Avatar
    billiepidge Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 22, 2012, 03:30 PM
    Mixed Feeling on my relationship
    Helloooo!

    Hre is my dilemma:

    I am only 19 and I currently work full time and study part time, I have massive dreams, no desire to have children and I don't like staying in the same town for more than 2 years (usually)

    I have been with my partner for a little over 2 years, we got together when we were 17, our last year of high school. I decided I was going to uni in another city and because he loved me so much (and loved him but I certainly did not make him come with me) he moved with me and we moved in together.

    Of course that was hard, we had a crappy flat, he couldn't get a job, so I was working, studying and being a first time in house girlfriend.
    I decided to stop studying and we got a new place, he got a good job etc and everything was okay.

    We have been through a lot and really are best friends, we are constantly told by our friends tha we are the 'ideal couple' which we laugh at because we know we are far from perfect. Because we have been together so long, I am now really close with all his friends, his family and he is extremely close with mine.

    Every so often I get what I like to call 'single tingle' where I don't want to be in a relationship and I just want to do me - I don't want to worry about anyone else. I am fiercely independent and have been told I am a bit of rock (emotionless)at times.

    I get this single tingle every few months, it usually goes away as I tell my partner and he realises he is doing something wrong that makes me feel this way or I am. But this time, I went away for a weekend without him and I partied with all his friends (now mine, but his first) I did not cheat on him as I have strict morals against it, but I did get really weird feelings that I was attracted to other people that were way stronger than usual!
    I got back from my trip and didn't tell him how I was feeling, but within a few days I did - we talked it over and I realised life would be really sad without him, I would miss him and I wouldn't like it if he started dating other girls plus vice versa for him. He always tells me he loves me and he wants to be with me as long as possible - I did feel like that, but now... it feels expired.

    The tingle isn't going away this time. I want to move away and study, plus study abroad volunteer, all that kind of thing. I feel like I need to find out who I am (cheesy!) before I settle right down. I have major mixed feelings at the moment! So I would appreciate an outsider point of view - everyone who I can talk to will have a biased answer.

    I would appreciate some major honesty!

    Thanks
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,931, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 22, 2012, 03:41 PM
    You've never had time to be "you" or find out who you are. I won't lecture or say all the yadda-yadda-yadda stuff. I will say this -- I've always regretted that I didn't travel and do stuff as a single after I graduated from college, but did the back-then normal and expected thing of getting safely married (during the dark ages of human history).

    You do know what I am about to say to you, what my advice is, don't you?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,290, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 23, 2012, 12:13 AM
    You have a decision to make, and no matter what you decide its going to hurt you both for a while. Do what's right for yourself while you can, or forever hold your peace. If you don't, you will hate yourself, and anything that stopped it from happening.

    Maybe you didn't ask him to follow you, but you darn sure let him, didn't you? Don't make that mistake again.

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