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Ysbeertjie · Feb 17, 2012, 01:32 AM

I dream of my ex constantly. I dream of us being together, but its like the start of a relationship were everyone is all loved up but we still have this pain feeling in certain areas, we know each others weaknesses, we've seen each others tears

We have contacted each other recently and we talk like we're friends, I told him I think about him sometimes and he said he thinks about me a lot, but we both know a retry won't be happening

I do still have feelings for my ex, but I push them aside, our break up wasn't easy (happened 8 months ago)

I am currently in a fling (started 2 weeks ago) but the guy wants to be serious and I can't because I don't feel the same way he does I told him in the beginning I don't want this to be serious and he was fine with that but he told me on Valentines Day that he might be more than just in love and I kind of froze when he said this, I don't want to hurt him.

Then my ex, I have no idea what to do, when he said he thinks about me a lot, I told him that I miss him, that I pray for him every day, that I wish him nothing but the best, but I also know we can't be together again, or at least not anytime soon, we should just carry on like strangers, then no one will get hurt. We haven't contacted each other since.

But now I think about him a lot more, I seem to notice his family everywhere now and have a lot more reminders of him

Climbingrose · Mar 2, 2012, 09:55 PM

This is time for you to decide, if you know that you and your ex can not be together again then think about other relationship seriously, if you still think of your ex then do not hurt the new one by not give him your sincere love. Think about your feeling with the new guy and answer him. Otherwise, you have to refuse him and need more time before start a new relationship.

talaniman · Mar 2, 2012, 10:25 PM

Hello again Y, sorry you are having a hard time managing your feelings after a hard break up, but you are not giving yourself a fair chance at healing by jumping into a rebound with some one else before you are ready. One could say you are using him as an emotional crutch, thinking that replaces the hole in your soul, but it does not.

Old feelings are being stirred up by seeing his family, and that's a trigger to remember good times and bad ones. I think you are much better without this fling, this crutch you have latched on to for comfort, or at least be honest why you cannot take him seriously. He deserves to know.

The bottom line is that your 8 months is not enough, and you have to recognize you have a lot more healing to to, and a ton of rebuilding yourself to do. Don't give in to the memories, use them to motivate you to more, but do this in an honest way, for yourself, and your rebound/fling!