Hello, I've never posted here before, but I need to help from somewhere. I have known my best friend, Misty, since the 5th grade. We started going out in high school, and became closer than ever. We know each other better than our own families. After dating for almost two years, she decided to break up. I didn't like it, but she said that before our relationship went any further, she needed to see other people. It was our first relationship for both of us, and she said she wanted to make sure that what we had was the real thing, or she would be wondering for the rest of her life. She said that she was afraid if we stayed together, the curiosity would drive her to cheating down the road. The plan was to get back together after we tested the waters a little with other people. We wanted to get married some day. We stayed best friends, and it was only a week before we wound up kissing in her driveway again. We couldn't resist. From then on we were together behind closed doors, but just best friends in the public eye. We knew it would have to end when one of us found someone else. Now we are in college (I came to Montana, she stayed in the area) and we still love each other. Shortly after college started, she started dating another man. I was devastated, but the relationship only lasted three weeks. She said she couldn't help but compare him to me, and that I blew him out of the water, but she still says she's not ready to get back together yet. I don't know what to do with myself. I miss her so much it hurts. It has thrown me into a depression that is affecting my schoolwork and my friendships. To make it worse, I went home last weekend to visit, and we ended up sleeping together. We didn't plan on resuming any kind of secret relationship again, but it happened anyway. That will only make it hurt more because she is still not ready to start dating me again. I would just let go and see others, but we still love each other and talk about marriage. This is driving me insane. Please, any help you can give me would be appreciated.