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    e22's Avatar
    e22 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 13, 2010, 06:45 PM
    I miss my ex soooo much, how do I move on?
    My ex and I were "hanging out" off and on for a year and a half, he never committed because he said he didn't know how to be a boyfriend. He then disappeared on me for three months, and we ran into each other after those three months. He called me the next day and said all he could think about was me, and he was sorry for disappearing, but didn't have a reason why he did it. He committed to me and we became an official couple after that day. We fell in love, and were together the past seven months. We spent every single day together, and I thought things were going well. We had our arguments here and there, but nothing big. He broke up with me almost two weeks ago. We were on our way to spend the fourth of July weekend with his family, and he just flipped out on me and broke up with me. He told me he loved me that very same morning?! Now he won't even talk to me whatsoever. I have no idea how he could do this, and still spend every day with me and tell me he loves me then just cut me out of his life like it's so easy? I'm devastated and miss him sooo much. It's been two weeks, and I can barely eat, sleep, get out of bed, can't stop crying. I guess I want to know how he could do this to me (because I'm not going to get closure or answers from him), and how I can move on. I don't want to have to move on, all I want is to be back together with him =(. And also, do you think I will ever hear from him again? This is all so confusing. I mean I lived at his place the whole time we were together... how can you live with someone then just not want anything to do with them one day? Somebody please help me so I can get on with my life!
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #2

    Jul 13, 2010, 07:16 PM

    Hi e22
    As hard as it is for you to understand sometimes relationships end for no apparent reason and over night at that, if your ex b/f has decided to end the relationship with you then there's nothing you can do about it, if he doesn't want to speak to you, you cannot make him, he may not even know himself why he's ended it, that too happens often.

    I could speculate all day as to why he has broken up with you, but nothing I could give you for a reason would be correct because like you I have no idea but this does happen a lot with young people.

    Its also quite common for the relationship to appear fine and healthy one day and be over the next too.

    I would advise you to tell yourself that you're not going to know why its ended just that it has, now though all you can do is try to get your own life back on track, its no longer about him or you two its about you.

    I can understand that you're feeling dreadful and as if your world has come crashing down around your ears, and for the time being that's true, however, you will move on from this you will eventually feel happy again, but for now all that's open to you is to try your very best to get on with your life, get busy somehow, go out meet with g.friends, visit family, take walks, treat yourself to a new dress of hair cut , or something, go window shopping, call up friends and ask them to help you get through this, you need a support team to help you if possible, people who will be there to listen when you need to talk, or you feel really desperate, family, school/college friends, people who will not mind being there.

    Don't try to contact the ex, it'll only end up making you hurt even more.

    Come to this site and post and there will always be a member here who will help you with this. Just ask.

    Im really sorry you're going through this and I realise too that nothing I say is going to do much to make you feel any better, that though will come in time, it won't be over night and it won't be easy, but you will start to live again, and even in time not yet, you will go on to love again, young love hurts so very much, and when something ends with no apparent reason its one of the hardest things going, the relationship has merely run its course not all relationships last forever, and it was no ones fault. It seems its just ended. This does often happen.

    Please post here anytime you want to, and also let us know how you're doing.
    Lucky098's Avatar
    Lucky098 Posts: 2,594, Reputation: 543
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    #3

    Jul 13, 2010, 07:50 PM

    Then cry.. Cry your heart out. Your boyfriend left you.

    Don't lay around too long... yes, you need to recover from this.. But the only way to do it is to get up and start doing things for yourself. Go spend some money on yourself. Go work out at the gym.. Volunteer some place.. Just keep your mind occupied and your availability at a min.

    I am so sorry this happened to you :( That guy seems to have a lot of problems that he needs to sort out on his own. He is obviously not ready to take on the responsibility of a long term relationship.

    Cheer up :) You have your whole life ahead of you.. I'm sure you will meet the perfect guy and this loser will be nothing but a distant memory.

    Take this time to heal. Don't lose focus on what makes you happy. Do what you want to do and don't hold back. You'll be surprised how fast you can get over him.
    hbug's Avatar
    hbug Posts: 27, Reputation: 5
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    #4

    Jul 13, 2010, 07:52 PM
    Guys have pms too.
    Hang tough.
    Show him that you don't need him to make you happy.
    He'll either come around.
    Or you'll end up moving on with a smile.
    And your pride still intact.
    Plus if he wasn't so committed in the first place how do you know he'll stick around?
    I feel for you honey. :)
    cubbycake24's Avatar
    cubbycake24 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 13, 2010, 10:05 PM

    1st you can't blam yourself you have to understand that it was him who left and didn't give you an explination

    I have no clue if he's going to tell you what it was that made hime leave... only time will tell

    U have to be strong and be around the people who love you the most and care for you

    They may seem annoying at times but they can really help you threw hard times like this

    And don't stop living your life for a man god knows what he's doing if this man is meant to be in your life hell come back but if not there's a reason for it so try and stay positive
    BWK10's Avatar
    BWK10 Posts: 127, Reputation: 34
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    #6

    Jul 13, 2010, 10:54 PM

    I'm sorry for this happening too you, although we all go through it at one point or another and you probably think nobody can feel the pain your feeling right now. I've gone through the same thing recently. Give yourself one "pity" day, cry all day... don't shower, eat anything and everything you want... just, try and relax and let all those tears and hurt out. Then, the next day... it's done, no more sobbing, no more crying... as hard as that sounds. I still haven't cried since the day after my ex left me.

    He wouldn't be able to give you an explanation why he dumped you either. Why would you want one? Most of them are made up excuses as to the real reason, or they just don't want you anymore. Why want someone who doesn't want you back?

    Trust me, coming from an experienced guy and everyone here... DO NOT, NOT... ABSOLUTELY NEVER CONTACT HIM. Don't text him, call him, email him, Facebook him... any of that crap. It sets you back (again, take it some someone REALLY experienced in that field). I know it's hard, I still wonder time to time what my ex is doing as I miss her a bit myself... but one day, you won't care anymore. You WILL find someone who will treat you how you should be treated.

    There are good people out there, you just need to find the ones worth suffering once and awhile for. They exist. Best wishes sweetie.
    hunnypooh97's Avatar
    hunnypooh97 Posts: 36, Reputation: 8
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    #7

    Jul 14, 2010, 06:21 AM
    Sorry to hear what you are going through but believe it or not you will get over it... I had experienced that feeling long time ago (was a complete mess for weeks over an ex who obvisiously didn't worth any of my energy).. the best way is no contact I know it probably seems like the end of the world to you that's very normal to feel this way.. I can understand there might be a million questions in your mind right now, but don't try to find answers as there are usually none.. its fine to grief as most of us have experience this at one point.. but time will heal the pain.. just keep yourself busy with other things, spend time with your family and friends... take care!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Jul 14, 2010, 02:33 PM

    Seldom do things change over night. This has been on his mind for a while but he just never told you, or didn't know how, until something happened as with your conflict, and he got the courage to tell you. No telling how long he has been feeding you crap, and pretending everything is okay, but now you know. Just leave him alone, and let the dust settle, so in time you can heal from this experience. It sucks but will get better.
    YeloDasy's Avatar
    YeloDasy Posts: 363, Reputation: 81
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    #9

    Jul 14, 2010, 11:22 PM

    Sounds like he has a commitment problem. You deserve better! I have been there a few times and it hurts so bad. I know! Give yourself time to be sad, but do not be unhealthy about it. When I was in your place, I would ask a friend to lunch. Not because I wanted to be around others cause I would totally rather be home crying, but it allowed me to eat and be healthy. It will hurt for awhile. But it does go away! It does lessen. He will always be special, but its okay to let him go. :)
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #10

    Jul 14, 2010, 11:28 PM
    He doesn't know himself and it isn't your job to help him find a centered place.

    He can both care for you and not know what he needs at the same time.

    Conversely... he can know he needs something else, but not know what it is, at the same time.

    ...

    In the end... you can try to run the number and work the angles and all you will get is this...

    Its not a good fit.

    He isn't going to chase you.

    He isn't all in.

    It doesn't matter what happened. It is where you are. Now. Here.

    That still hurts. Its still confusing. But its reality.

    You are "off" from each other... and it isn't your job to make the pieces fit at any cost.

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