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falloutguy · Aug 19, 2008, 09:19 AM

Split up with a partner, together a while, but the time spent together meant nothing to her ! She said it had been fun while it lasted. Eh! Why deceive me... It was either just a bit of fun or more than that, she always pushed for marriage, how can that just be a bit of fun?

Can't come to terms with that discept ? Help.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 19, 2008, 09:21 AM

She is hiding how important your relationship was from you, because she wants to seem strong and that this breakup isn't bothering her. I'm sure when she's alone, it's a very different story.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 19, 2008, 09:34 AM

I agree with Chihuahuamomma... She's not acting that way deliberately I don't think... she's doing it to keep herself strong.. not thinking how those things will make you feel. I wouldn't analyze it too much since probably how she really feels is the exact opposite.

talaniman · Aug 19, 2008, 10:37 AM

One thing I've learned, is never try to figure out what an ex is saying. Whatever they say works for them, not you!

Jiser · Aug 19, 2008, 12:15 PM

Good answer there tali!

Janmarie · Aug 19, 2008, 12:31 PM

For now just take her words for as her truths and don't worry about what she may or may not be really thinking. Yeah it is nice to know that we did mean something to our partner ex or not but just go with what she is telling you now and act accordingly.

If it did mean something to her then it will be revealed either by words or actions.

falloutguy · Aug 20, 2008, 12:55 AM

It was a while ago that we broke up. She said that she had her eye on someone and I asked if she was seeing him, answer "NO" So I asked if she wanted to get back together. She replied "No" when I asked about all the time we had been together the reply I got was "it was just fun whilst it lasted". This from the person who would cause arguments because I was not ready to marry her!

The relationship meant so much to me, but nothing to her... I can't seem to come to terms with that !

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 20, 2008, 12:57 AM

She wants you to think that it meant nothing to her. You need to move on, and definitely stop talking with her.

falloutguy · Aug 20, 2008, 05:37 AM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

She wants you to think that it meant nothing to her. You need to move on, and definitely stop talking with her.

That kind of makes sense, as she clearly was more into this guy than she let on. But why lie, why not be honest... That is a horrible cruel thing to do.

This sounds horrible, but when we first split up, I could have really hurt her, but you don't do that to someone you care about even if you know its not working. But she pushed to remain in contact and as soon as she had someone else it was F**K off!

That hurts. If I had done that to her, it would have hurt her!!

0rphan · Aug 20, 2008, 06:21 AM

Hi falloutguy... you need to break all contact with her... no texting, no emails etc etc...

You have absolutley nothing to gain by speaking to her, just more heart ache for yourself.

However I do think the comment that was made was just her putting on her hard face for her own benefit, deepdown I think she's really cut up.

Was it a joint decision that you should split? If so perhaps she now realises that it was wrong, but wouldn't let you see that...

Perhaps she thought the grass was greener from the other side of the relationship, only to find it was the same.

Takecare

talaniman · Aug 20, 2008, 07:43 AM

I have read your other posts, so is this a new female or one of the others??

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3101357

falloutguy · Aug 20, 2008, 07:55 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I have read your other posts, so is this a new female or one of the others???

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3101357

Hi Taliniman,

That post was a girl from 15 years ago. Who I split up with, this girl was a lot more recent. Both situations were hard to deal with.

joanne 1986 · Aug 20, 2008, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

She is hiding how important your relationship was from you, because she wants to seem strong and that this breakup isn't bothering her. I'm sure when she's alone, it's a very different story.

I agree with chihua,maybe she is finding it hard herself to come to terms with it,maybe she didn't really want this

Janmarie · Aug 20, 2008, 08:45 AM

In your relationship together you said she was the one pushing for a marriage. Did you not want to marry her? Did she feel that you had commitment issues? What was your reasons for not pushing a marriage with her?

She may have just given up on you.