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    Dana97's Avatar
    Dana97 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 26, 2012, 10:45 AM
    Married with two kids but in love with my ex.
    I've been married now for 7 yrs but always thought of my ex boyfriend. I could never get him off my mind. My ex loved or still loves me. He married after his last attempt to get me back. There was no real reason for leaving him. He was leaving to the military and at that time I was only 16 yrs old while he was 19. Awhile ago we bumped into each other and confessed how we felt knowing that we are both married. He has no children. Now I find myself feeling bad because I have a good husband who doesn't deserve to be hurt but then I find myself unhappy because my feelings for my ex are much stronger then for my husband. So confused.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jun 26, 2012, 11:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dana97 View Post
    I've been married now for 7 yrs but always thought of my ex boyfriend. I could never get him off my mind. My ex loved or still loves me. He married after his last attempt to get me back. There was no real reason for leaving him. He was leaving to the military and at that time I was only 16 yrs old while he was 19. Awhile ago we bumped into each other and confessed how we felt knowing that we are both married. He has no children. Now I find myself feeling bad because I have a good husband who doesn't deserve to be hurt but then I find myself unhappy because my feelings for my ex are much stronger then for my husband. So confused.
    What would you do/say if your husband came to you and said he had bumped into an old girlfriend, still loved her, thought you are a "good" wife, he feels bad but he doesn't want to hurt you?

    And the do whatever you would suggest to him.

    The other side of this is counselling - the past is always very attractive in retrospect.

    My other concern is that he is married - how can you hurt another woman like this? I don't think relationships that begin with cheating ever work - so both of you separate or divorce and then come together.

    I know I don't want to live in the shadows. Do you?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jun 26, 2012, 03:16 PM
    You aren't confused, just can't separate reality from fantasy. Now dedicate yourself to rebuilding love for your husband.Then you won't be confused. Now what's going on at home?
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