My boyfriend won't sleep with me. He said he just isn't in the mood. Is this normal for a guy to not want it. We've been together for a year now and we have had sex around 15 times. It seems to me it should be much more.

All guys are different. How old is he?

We are both in our early 30's. We each have a 7 year old. So I know having kids around is a factor. But Ive caught him jacking off in the bathroom after the kids are in bed and I'm begging for it. I truly believe he is not cheeting. I always know where he is. We have a good relationship. I just want to intemate as well. Im not sure what else to do. Sexy lotion and clothes don't work. Ive even got babysitters for the night.

Performance anxiety - if someone has experienced, for example, premature ejaculation or painful sex, they may evade sex for fear or shame. Fatigue or Lack of time - the load of work and home responsibilities don't leave enough time for intimacy and sex. “Familiarity - generally, a couple's appetite for sex tends to decline in time. Relationship problems - if the couple is experiencing difficulties in other areas of their relationship, their sex life may suffer. Sexual incompatibility - sexual desire can be affected if one partner continuously wants more sex than the other, or desires a type of intercourse the other isn't comfortable with. Sexual turn-offs - desire for your partner may wane with certain changes in their physical appearance, such as excessive weight gain. Depression - marked by lethargy, lack of motivation, feeling sad and withdrawing from activities, including sex.” Researchers have revealed that stress hormones can reduce sexual desire and response. Some diseases including anemia and liver or kidneys disease can add to lack of libido and drugs such as antidepressants, marijuana, excessive alcohol use and medications to control high blood pressure. Either too much or too little exercise can decrease libido. Finally, sexual harassment, sexual abuse or rape can play part. If he really loves you he can consider a physical examination which includes blood and urine tests and hormone tests. "The desire for sex varies from one individual to the next, and even within the same individual depending on circumstances. For instance, most new couples experience a 'honeymoon' period of plenty of sex that settles down over time." I've been with my honey for a year. Just last month he started working nights and overtime -our libido decreased. However, I understand that an outside factor has contributed. Study your circumstances and if none of this applies to him, he may have lost the spark. I wish you the best.

Any big fight, disagreements, or unresolved issues lately. Was he like that before? You have been together for a year, but how long have you known each other, and how long have you been living together? I'm sorry for all the questions, but need all the info for a better picture. Many areas of a couples lives can affect the bedroom.

There needs to be some more info given before we can really give answers. How long has this been going on? Has there been any fights or other trouble?

Well, lets see. Ive known him for 4 years. We were friends first. We actually started our relationship when we were both single and alone. He asked me if I would be interested in being *special friends* no strings attached. We could have fun together and still be single parents and friends. That lasted 3 weeks. We slept together 3 times in 3 weeks and he told me he wanted more. I agreed. We then dated and had sex aprox once a week. 4 months ago I moved in. We averaged sex 2 times a week. Last week I confronted him and asked if anything was wrong and he said He loved me and only wanted me but he was just not in the mood very often. He said sex was not that important to him. He loved snuggling up with me at night after the kids were in bed and that made him happy. I told him I need to feel wanted. I want him to at least act interested. Is it possibe he just isn't into sex that much?

I have no doubt that blending the two families, has created an entirely different dynamic, that will need adjustments on both sides. If other areas of this relationship is fine, then be understanding, and adjust to each other. This is where you work on it together.

So, you say you averaged sex 2 times a week. Does that still apply to the present time? If you average sex twice a week, then it's normal. ALong the way, depending on the occasion and mood, you'll have sex more often, then less. That's normal when you live together, specially with the kids at home. I agree, he might be adjusting. Just make sure you ask him about the masturbation issue.

He is gay... dump him... he is only using you as a front to the world.