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    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
    Full Member

    Nov 26, 2007, 11:45 AM
    Making a decision
    Some one explain this to me...

    Im just having a bad day once again, trying to keep my head up but this one things keeps bothering me. 1 week before we split she wanted to get married and tld me I'm theo nly one for her. We have a son, then a week later we break up and then a weekafter that she is in a long distance relationship and has told people that this guy will be a important part of her life. . How do you go from the first week to being and wanting to marry someone else..
    MissingHim2Much's Avatar
    MissingHim2Much Posts: 252, Reputation: 37
    Full Member

    Nov 26, 2007, 02:25 PM
    I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. As most everyone knows my ex basically did the same thing... Told me just days before he left that he only wanted to have a baby with me... Now his new girlfriend is pregnant with twins... Although everyone that knows her says they aren't his... But yeah I have no clue how they can swear they love you, want to marry you, and even want to have children with you but a few days later start a whole new life with someone else. Its been 4 months now and I still can't even think about starting a life with someone new.
    BiWiccanAndProud's Avatar
    BiWiccanAndProud Posts: 530, Reputation: 25
    Senior Member

    Nov 26, 2007, 02:36 PM
    This girl sounds like some who liked you for one of two things


    And she found someone who had better looks or more money or both! This girl sounds like a gold digger to me.
    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
    Full Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 08:59 AM
    Hahah wiccan.. It would be the money lol. And what you say is true. . She did love me I'm unsure if she still does. I hear she does but she is with someone else. We have a son. It just boggles my mind how we were engaged before then broke it off but this time around she was asking me to ask her that night etc.. I'm theo nly one then BAM.. makes no sense. Unless this new guy is making promises.. I don't know
    BiWiccanAndProud's Avatar
    BiWiccanAndProud Posts: 530, Reputation: 25
    Senior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 09:17 AM
    Ah as said you can find better. Do you guys have joint custody over your son? It sounds that (though your break was sudden and tragic) that you left on good terms, no real fights or debates, so I'm guessing that no one has full custody of the child?
    little firefly's Avatar
    little firefly Posts: 139, Reputation: 36
    Junior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 09:25 AM
    I guess I'm not the only one strugggling to understand how someone can tell us one day that we are the only one for them and want to spend their life with us and then turn around and fall head over heels for someone else. It just dosen't make any kind of sense to me.

    Sometimes I wonder if they have self esteem issues or maybe they're just in love with the idea of being in love, and having all the fireworks that go along with a new relationship. When all the newness and excitement die down, they seem ready to move on to someone else. I honestly believe that that's my ex bf's problem.
    leti1980's Avatar
    leti1980 Posts: 150, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 09:30 AM
    That's the problem you never really know for sure what's going on in someone's mind do you ever know if there telling the truth? Do you really know what there thinking? And if they mean all they say ? Its something that can never be solved I think.
    linds03's Avatar
    linds03 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 09:52 AM
    She's the one that's confused... not you. MOVE ON. I understand you have a child, but you should focus all your energy on him. Don't let her come back-I would never get over what she's done to you.
    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
    Full Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 01:33 PM
    I'm done.. I know she will be back and I'm done.. The things she has done to me are unforgivable. NO matter how much I still love her.. And she is in love with the idea of being in love... But she gets lust confused with love. She will crash and burn one day and I will still be there as her baby's father and that's it.. Her and I have a increible history that is like a fairy tale. But she tossed it on the ground so I will be the one now letting go and let her live with the choices she has made. I will let her be the one to hate her self for what she has done and I will give her no reason to feel any different.. Im done and It feels so good to be able to say that and mean it.. Yes I still love her, yes the idea of recociling sounds great.. Would I do it, HELL NO.. You ask me a few months ago I would have jumped at the chance.. Not now and not ever.. She has betrayed me, lied, broke my heart.. Im only here for my son and my son only.. Which by the way is driving her nutz that all I care about is my son and not her.. She will wake up one day and be like OMFG WHAT have I done.. And try to come back and at that exact moment I will have such a feeling of satisaction and then when I get the chace to say "its too late" will be the day I'm set free.
    madaman's Avatar
    madaman Posts: 212, Reputation: 25
    Full Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 02:04 PM
    I would really not try and get hung up on this. Yes she said she wanted to get married etc, but you don't know why.

    It could be that she felt the relationship was dying and thought that might make her change her opinion and brought it up as a last resort. When it didn't change her feelings then you two broke up.

    My ex told me she loved me the same day she cheated on me. I don't read into this anymore because frankly I don't care why she would say it. Its now her problem and not mine. Im not saying that when they say stuff like this they are lying... they are probably very confused about what to do and until the actual breakup happens they keep up appearances of a normal relationship.
    BiWiccanAndProud's Avatar
    BiWiccanAndProud Posts: 530, Reputation: 25
    Senior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 02:06 PM
    HURRAH HURRAH!! GOOD FOR YOU CRUSH!! WELL SAID!! I'm sure that you only caring for you son does drive her nuts ^.~ keep it up man. You are one of the very few people I know of who can say I still love them but I'll never take them back. So many people say it but the chance comes and they take it. Good for you! Keep it up and stay strong!
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
    Full Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 04:56 PM
    She stars in her own drama, you played a part, He plays a part, she directs, gets all royalties. Some lines are more dramatic than others, 'lets get married' was a line to divert the attention away from what she was doing. She was unsure of the other guy on that day. He became motivated by thinking she would be lost to him.
    You can direct act two, in which she plays a minor role...
    nkychic's Avatar
    nkychic Posts: 180, Reputation: 70
    Junior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 06:30 PM
    You know what? I know you aren't going to want to hear this but at least you are finding these things out now. Although they aren't things that anyone wants to hear about the person they love, at least it came out before you went through with plans for marriage. Use this new knowledge of her to help you move on to bigger, better, and more worth while things and people. I hope that everything works out for you. I know it will, it just may take time.

    <3 Leslie
    Queen0804's Avatar
    Queen0804 Posts: 40, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member

    Nov 27, 2007, 07:51 PM
    She is confused and lost forget her and take care of your child.
    crushedovernover's Avatar
    crushedovernover Posts: 260, Reputation: 19
    Full Member

    Nov 28, 2007, 08:31 AM
    That's my plan.. She is lost and confused.. I feel bad in a way because when this guy leaves her High and dry she is going to crash and burn and probably try to come back.. But she is coming back to the wrong person.. She lost the best thing that ever happen to her and I know it so she can enjoy the suffering that she has caused.

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