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    Gooberguy1223's Avatar
    Gooberguy1223 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 20, 2012, 03:34 PM
    I love her and have for a long time but I need help
    She was a girlfriend in middle school. I moved from the school and she stayed. Eight years went by and she finally ended up contacting me and we both expected to be friends at first. At the time she was in a very bad relationship and she felt like she was trapped. A friend of mine decided to say that she was only going to use me. The only reason why she wanted to move out and live with me. Where I made the mistake was listening to him instead of what my heart told me.

    So we got into a big argument. She stops talking to me for about two months and I stop talking to her. During this time she went to a courthouse with her current boyfriend and they got married. He didn't even get her a ring. She then contacted me shortly thereafter to let me know the news and that she found out he had sabotaged his condoms so that he could get her pregnant, and that she also found out he had slept with another woman two days before they went to the courthouse to get married.

    We got into another argument over the situation. I disagreed with it told her she should've left right then. Once again another two months went by without her or me contacting each other. Then two years went by and she finally contacted me over Facebook and said I'm at home just me and my kids. I left his *** in Illinois. She told me after we met that she is originally just wanted me as a friend but it developed into something more throughout the years. She told me that she has to go through a period where she can heal before she can get into another relationship which I agree with.

    My biggest dilemma right now is what do I do to not drive her away and keep that feeling that she has for me in her heart without falling into the friend zone and without being the rebound guy?
    kandy25's Avatar
    kandy25 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jul 20, 2012, 03:54 PM
    To start u sound like a great guy! After what she did to you leaving u & getting married so fast to someone who don't respect her. & u still want to b part of her life, you are a true man! She will realized that. Just give her the space she needs & just be their for her emotionally as a friend. No matter how much you love her, try to be patient & just focus on letting her know u will always be there for her. & she can count on u... :) show her she still gots a change to be truelly happy in her love life..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 21, 2012, 02:04 PM
    You won't like this, but make NO COMMITMENT for a year to live together. Just date and talk, and don't get her pregnant. Love will not overcome her poor decision making, or the fact she acts impulsively, or illogically. Pay attention and find out what role you play so you won't get played.

    If love makes you ignore the obvious, then you are already in danger of being another failed relationship for her. I mean she says she left him, but who knows if that's the truth, or just the truth for now.

    Friend zone is the least of your worries. Sorry guy, I just have my doubts about this, so should you.

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