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    Carolinew0401's Avatar
    Carolinew0401 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 3, 2010, 08:37 PM
    I love my boyfriend but I'm still in love with my ex
    Ahh so this one is complicated. I was friends with this girl for a few years, and I became really close to her family-- her mother called me her daughter. Me and the girl were like sisters, and I became really close with her brother. When my friend went away for the summer, I began to spend a lot of time with this guy. At first, I didn't want to have any sort of relationship with him, because my friend is jealous, but he kept trying to ask me out and over time, I fell in love with him. He was exactly like me, just the male version, but he was different enough to keep me interested every second. I went away to study in England for a month and when I came back, I just knew things were different. He broke it off.. he had said before that he'd always been a player, but that maybe for once he should do the right thing and change for something amazing that had come his way... me. That meant making me his girlfriend, which he had. Anyway, I guess he changed his mind. But after that he tried to kiss me a few times, but I refused. I didn't want to just be someone that could be walked all over...
    Anyway, I couldn't stand to see him anymore, and my friend and I kind of got on rough terms, but I stayed close with the mother. After a while me and the friend became somewhat close again, but, she was pregnant and getting married. At this time, her mother was trying to set me up with one of my friend's exes. I said no for months, because dating an ex is a NO, but she said that she had her own life now, and her own family, and that she had only been with the guy for a couple months and it was years ago (plus she had cheated on him and had two other boyfriends at the same time, I remember). So finally we started dating, and when she found out, she flipped. Her mother had promised nothing would happen and that I had done nothing wrong, as she was the one who SET US UP, but when this happened, she stopped talking to me. They all did! I'm so confused because they all knew... everyone was trying to set me up with him and wouldn't let me tell my friend! But the problem is, I feel like I've ruined any chance of getting back together with my ex, which should NOT be what I think about! We hadn't talked in a year-- he kept acting like I was a stranger, and then we talked a few months back and we both knew... that it was like it was before. But I had moved to a different state so there was no point acting on it. Anyway the question is... was waiting a year for this guy to get back with me enough, even though he's now interested, and is it worth it to try with him'? iidk, I love my boyfriend now, but every day I think about my ex.. problem is I think my current boyfriend is going through the same issue...
    Any advice? I don't even know what to think anymore...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 5, 2010, 09:16 AM

    Anyway the question is... was waiting a year for this guy to get back with me enough, even though he's now interested, and is it worth it to try with him'?
    Talaniman Rule- Never let them break your heart TWICE! Didn't it hurt enough the first time? Waiting a year for him to change his mind, or his ways, is a complete waste of time, and your g/f is fickle! Cut all contact with her, the mother, and the brother. Then eventually the confusion stops, and reality can be seen. And you can get on with your life without them.
    I don't know, I love my boyfriend now, but every day I think about my ex..
    That's because old feelings of what was, are being constantly stirred, and kept alive, with continued contact with his family.
    problem is I think my current boyfriend is going through the same issue...
    Any advice?
    Neither of you is in love, but use each other to make you both feel better. This is only a temporary rebound solution. You both have to get over the influence of your exes, to be happy.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #3

    Mar 5, 2010, 09:48 AM

    You can't have your cake and eat it too! I think you want cake, icing and ice cream too. Get Help

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