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    blackb3rry's Avatar
    blackb3rry Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 17, 2009, 04:48 PM
    Lost and trustless
    My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 3 years now and been together for a year. When I first met him he was as real as they come. Meaning he was honest about everything how he felt etc.
    Long story short now that we've been together he has been acting as a closed shell. Things that go on with him I have to assume, wonder, and guess as I tell him. I had all my trust in him up until he lied to me about being sleep when actually he was over some friends house. How I know cause when I was calling his phone it would pick up and he didn't know it and I was hold the phone and listen to the back ground. That was an unnecessary lie to me. Then it seem like weeks after that I started finding numbers in his phone of females. But they all know he got to girl. I'm so lost he say he want lie anymore. Its killing me not to trust. What should I do?
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
    Senior Member

    Aug 17, 2009, 05:40 PM

    Well if the trust is gone, then the relationship is doomed.

    Unless you can believe him that he won't lie, and eventually trust him again, this just won't work.

    Even if he does tell the truth, you won't trust him, and will doubt him even when there is no reason to, and this is no way to be in a relationship.

    So my suggestion is to sit down and talk with your guy, ask him why he lied and see if it has anything to do with you too. What he did was wrong, but if he is willing to make amends and be honest from now on, then its up to you to believe him and give him a chance. If you can't, then its best to end this relationship.

    All the best and good luck. Peace
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member

    Aug 17, 2009, 09:24 PM

    Talk to him calmly. Try to figure out why he is doing such a thing. He is maybe a bit bored, or he wants to look around. The best thing is communication.
    britEl's Avatar
    britEl Posts: 244, Reputation: 35
    Full Member

    Aug 18, 2009, 12:28 AM

    Make sure you keep communicating! Trust is a big thing in a relationship and without it you two will be in trouble! I know this is going to sound strange but are you a little smothering towards him as in do you need to know where and what he is doing at all times, check up on him. I am just wondering because my ex boyfriend did this to me to the point I would just lie and tell him I was at home but really I would go out with my friends to have fun because if I was anywhere else he would be mad or upset with me. That is why we are now broken up. Also why are you looking through his phone like that, all you are doing is looking for ways to not trust him. Maybe talk to him about the other girls and their messages or why he keeps adding new girls numbers.
    I understand lying is wrong but there must be a reason as to why he lied.

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