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    naina1991's Avatar
    naina1991 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 4, 2011, 12:13 PM
    Long distance problem.
    Well my case is a little complex. I've had a bad past, and a bad relationship, where I was in a big trouble. But I moved on after the break up.

    Its been a year now and I've been talking to my childhood friend a lot. We've been really good friends since 17 years, and recently I am having feelings for him, and he's hinting me that he is interested.

    But the thing is, he went for higher studies to a different country! We talk on phone, and internet but I really fear if this thing gets serious, and doesn't work out, I'll be in pain again. Still I want to give it a try because I like him a lot. Please help!
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Dec 4, 2011, 12:27 PM
    Hi naina1991,

    Any chance either of you could plan a visit to see the other? Long distance relationships have their challenges, but they can be successful. It obviously helps tremendously if you know that there is the possibility of it no longer being long distance at some point.

    Take things slow... continue to talk frequently... try to figure out a way to get some visits in back and forth if at all possible.

    In time, if it appears this is becoming even more serious, one of you will likely need to make a decision about moving. Or, perhaps both of you may make a move to a new location together.
    naina1991's Avatar
    naina1991 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 4, 2011, 01:20 PM
    Thank you for the advice... :)by the way we are going to meet this year but he is himself not sure about where he is going to settle and he hasn't stated any seriousness about me yet but is it OK if I ask him about his plans because it would seem desperate if I do.I just don't want to lose him by running behind him.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
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    #4

    Dec 4, 2011, 01:48 PM
    There's no reason not to go for it. Worst case: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    X Dani
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Dec 4, 2011, 01:50 PM
    It wouldn't seem unusual to ask about his plans since you are his friend. Besides, his plans may change if things became serious. Your plans may change as well.

    See how things go... you will likely know before too much longer if the interest becomes stronger.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Dec 4, 2011, 06:31 PM
    Relax, and see how things go without expectations because it's a BIG difference liking someone you have know, and being partners in a relationship.

    The distance will not help you I don't think.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #7

    Dec 5, 2011, 12:17 AM
    I agree with Tal. Relax.

    Stop with the expectations.

    Sometimes old friends are just that. Going back is easy.

    Look ahead, not backwards. If he wants you, you will know.
    Don't wait around, though. Or press it.

    Long distance waiting is a fools game. Believe me.

    "he hasnt stated any seriousness about me yet"

    There you go. Then why be serious about him?

    Do you own thing.

    That's the best thing you can do.
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