Hi there

So my girlfriend moved overseas for a uni course, it's a 5 year program and a very good opportunity. When she applied for it, we weren't at the point in our relationship where we were thinking long term, but by the time she left, we were really serious. The problem was, that this didn't leave much time to figure out ways we could be together, we tried some stuff but it didn't really work out, so we broke it off.
We've kept in contact for the past year though, not together but both still unable to give up talking to each other. I've met other girls who I've liked, but I still love my ex and don't know what to do. She says she still loves me, but the problem has been the situation, not the feelings. If she had never left, we would still be together for sure.

I'm seeing a girl at the moment, and I thought I was over my ex, but I don't think I am. Should I break up with this girl? I feel bad because I was kind of the one that initiated it...

With my ex, I don't know what to do either. Part of the reason why I didn't commit to moving with her is that I'm unsure of myself and my ability to move to a different country and make a life. I don't have a "career" and she's doing something really great that takes up almost all her time. I felt like I have to sort that out before I can commit to something that would basically be marriage. But I don't know if I'll ever "sort that out", I've always been kind of like that. I thought I couldn't do a long distance relationship, but we've kind of done it for the last year.

I don't know... if two people love each other, is it stupid to still think it's not right? I feel like her journey changed and I don't know if I can follow, but I still love her..


I just don't think I can let her go... we've had so many "last emails" because we both just can't accept it's over.

You have to
1. move
2. or move on

If you can not jump on a plane and go ( Ok have to get visas and the such) then you are not committed.

I just broke up with my girlfriend for about the same reason, I really liked her but I could not make that bigger commentment, so because I was having trouble committing, I knew it was not right

Let go of each other so you both can enjoy the options and opportunities in your own lives. You hurting both of you holding on to a situation neither of you can change. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to so you can live and be at peace with yourselves, and 5 years is a long time to hope and wait.

Does it mean I don't love her enough if I am not able to move to be with her? It scares me to think that, because a year later now and I still feel like part of me is missing, and maybe that means I'll never be ready to be married or to be that serious with someone. It makes me feel like a failure that I can't do it.

When she first moved, I tried really hard to continue my studies where she is, to get a job where she is, but it was really hard as she lives in a small town and she is so busy with work that she wasn't able to help me much.

She said there may be a way she can move back here and do part of her studies where I am, but I don't know whether we should talk about that possibility because it might lead to more disappointment if she can't, it'll mean we still have the hope that it could work, and I think that's making it difficult for her to fully settle into her life there. Also it would make me feel bad about this girl I'm with, that I don't want to mess her around, she's lovely.

Maybe reading this will give you options and ideas.

Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky

Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

At least it will give you a perspective on what it takes.