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    BTColton's Avatar
    BTColton Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 18, 2009, 04:02 PM
    I like someone else.
    Here's my story... me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while, we broke up for 2 days, and are back together... I was the one that broke up with her, and now I don't love her anymore :/ Last time, I didn't like anyone else, but now I do. I`ve given it some thought, and I have no clue what to do :( I don`t toally hate being alone, fyi... so if I broke up, asked the other girl out (after some time) and she turned me down, I wouldn`t totally be heartbroken... help, please :confused:
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 18, 2009, 05:26 PM
    What a selfish thought, using someone so your not alone.

    Be honest with this person, set them free from your selfish ways, and take a chance on the new person.

    If they want nothing to do with your selfish A$$, then learn to love being alone, like all the rest of us have to do.

    Your actions, and the reasons behind them, are unacceptable, and reprehensible.
    BTColton's Avatar
    BTColton Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 18, 2009, 05:31 PM
    Woah, I'm trying to come across as UNselfish as possible :s I said I don't mind being alone. I want to be honest, but I don't want to come across as a d*ck either. I'm DEFENETLY not like that, sorry if I seemed like it..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Dec 18, 2009, 07:51 PM

    So you went back to the one you don't like, after the one you did, rejected you? Trying to get that straight.
    BTColton's Avatar
    BTColton Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 18, 2009, 07:55 PM
    Oh, now I see what you're getting at... No, the first time, I just broke up with her, nothing happened, 2 days later we got back together... NOW, I'm not sure what to do.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Dec 18, 2009, 08:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by BTColton View Post
    Oh, now I see what you're getting at...No, the first time, I just broke up with her, nothing happened, 2 days later we got back together...NOW, I'm not sure what to do.
    How about break up with the girl you don't 'love' and let her move on with her life and getting over you? She deserves more.

    You give yourself time to get rid of any baggage you have from the relationship before you get involved with anyone else.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Dec 18, 2009, 08:24 PM

    Seems its already been done if your not with the ex, and the other girl is a "no thanks". There is nothing to do but move on by doing your own thing that you enjoy, and leaving them both alone.

    Have some fun with friends, or sports, and enjoy being single for a while, and free to explore other options. There will be other options.
    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
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    #8

    Dec 19, 2009, 01:17 AM
    I apologize for the harshness above. I don't think they understand what you are trying to say. I will save the day.

    You are saying that you and your girlfriend broke up at one point. Then you got back together. Then you broke up again, except during this time, you began to have eyes for someone else. Nonetheless, you are now with your girlfriend again, but you are not in love anymore. Now you want to know if you should leave your current girlfriend and chase the other girl. Even if the other girl says no, you will be fine single. I see no wrong on your part at all. So you're not in love anymore. You are thinking of ending things before chasing a "what if". This is very admirable.
    The advice is simple. Break up. Then chase the other girl. I think you already know how to handle it. Perhaps you are just scared. Life is short. You can't force yourself to love. You are not married so, break up and then and only then, do your chasing. Keep us updated!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #9

    Dec 19, 2009, 01:47 AM
    If you have fallen out of love and aren't happy don't string your girl along,end it so she can move on and eventually find happiness with somebody else. It is,however,never a good idea to jump from one relationship to the next,so I don't think your asking somebody else out straight away after a breakup is a good idea. Try some alone time first.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #10

    Dec 19, 2009, 02:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by emopunk7 View Post
    I apologize for the harshness above. I don't think they understand what you are trying to say. I will save the day.

    You are saying that you and your girlfriend broke up at one point. Then you got back together. Then you broke up again, except during this time, you began to have eyes for someone else. Nonetheless, you are now with your girlfriend again, but you are not in love anymore. Now you want to know if you should leave your current girlfriend and chase the other girl. Even if the other girl says no, you will be fine single. I see no wrong on your part at all. So you're not in love anymore. You are thinking of ending things before chasing a "what if". This is very admirable.
    The advice is simple. Break up. Then chase the other girl. I think you already know how to handle it. Perhaps you are just scared. Life is short. You can't force yourself to love. You are not married so, break up and then and only then, do your chasing. Keep us updated!
    I disagree with this post.

    I disagree for the apolige for damn good posts,that were true statements.

    I disagree that what he is doing is admirable.

    I disagree that your saving the day.

    I but agree that life is short.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #11

    Dec 19, 2009, 06:25 AM

    Quote Originally Posted by emopunk7 View Post
    I apologize for the harshness above. I don't think they understand what you are trying to say. I will save the day.

    You are saying that you and your girlfriend broke up at one point. Then you got back together. Then you broke up again, except during this time, you began to have eyes for someone else. Nonetheless, you are now with your girlfriend again, but you are not in love anymore. Now you want to know if you should leave your current girlfriend and chase the other girl. Even if the other girl says no, you will be fine single. I see no wrong on your part at all. So you're not in love anymore. You are thinking of ending things before chasing a "what if". This is very admirable.
    The advice is simple. Break up. Then chase the other girl. I think you already know how to handle it. Perhaps you are just scared. Life is short. You can't force yourself to love. You are not married so, break up and then and only then, do your chasing. Keep us updated!
    Please do not apologize for me especially when I wasn't being harsh and I read and got exactly what he was saying.

    Yes, he is doing something 'wrong'. He is holding on to someone he doesn't 'love' while he discovers how he feels about the other person. As soon as he realized he doesn't have feelings for his girlfriend, he should have ended the relationship instead of leading her on while looking for someone new (may not be how it started, but that is the way it has gone). He may be willing to be single, but he hasn't acted in any way to prove those words true. Actually, he has done the opposite by saying he 'doesn't have a clue what to do'.

    Lining up a possible relationship to hop to (even with a break between them) is not a good idea. It is giving 'lip service' service to 'healing'.
    BTColton's Avatar
    BTColton Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Dec 19, 2009, 11:29 AM
    Wow, that's exactly what I'm trying to get, thanks for someone understanding :) + thanks for the advice.

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