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phil39100 · Jun 3, 2009, 11:54 AM

Hi I am trying to move on with my life but can't as there is a baby involved and will have no choice but to see her unless I give the baby up which I cannot do she ended it and I'm still hurting from it but it feels I cannot move forward as she will always be in my life

88sunflower · Jun 3, 2009, 11:57 AM

You said it yourself, she will now always be in your life. For whatever reason the relationship ended really doesn't matter now. There is a baby involved. As hard as it will be try to stay strong for that baby and be there. Either you will find your way back to each other, or it will be over and these feelings of hurt will pass. Either way it will take time for either direction to form. If your not together you need to learn to keep it between you and her and don't drag the baby in the middle of it. That baby needs your love equally.

Justwantfair · Jun 3, 2009, 12:01 PM

Children complicate break ups, but you have to do what is best for you.

Limit contact to only necessary information, try using email for that for the time being. While she is pregnant, there aren't many ways that you can assist/be a father, so now you can just communicate about as often as she visits her OB/GYN.

When the baby is born, consider a paternity test to protect yourself, we have constant instances of men who find out too long after the fact that the baby was not their offspring. After the paternity test is returned, if the child is yours, immediately file for visitation and then the time to share with the child will be court ordered.

phil39100 · Jun 4, 2009, 01:26 AM

Thank you for your replies yes I will be doing what's best for the baby and myself and I know in time it will get better and the pain will pass the hardest part to take was how she ended it in a text message saying she couldn't stand being around me and didn't know why yet night before tells me she loves me I have only contacted her by text 4 times in a week to sort out about the scan and anything related to the baby the only thing I said concerning us was that it's a weight of my shoulders and I understood and that was partly my fault for putting too much pressure on her concerning me moving in which I would have been 3 days after she ended it I hope I do not crumble when I see her for the scan as I do have some pride left not much but some and wouldn't want to let my emotions take over I want to say that I do care about you still and it was the right thing to do and I have moved on and would like to keep in contact only for the babies sake. Would that be the right thing to do? Even though inside I still love her and would be lying as I would have her back straight away