I'm going through the worst, most difficult time yet. I posted something before but I'll try to give you the jist of it.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years about 10 days ago because I was just honestly not in love anymore. There was a catalyst to my decision and I though he was out of the picture but now that's changed. I had been thinking about breaking up for a while so I don't regret it.
The thing is... I feel so empty. I know this will pass and it's just what I need to go through to get where I want to be. It just sucks so much. People always think that it's easier for the person doing the breaking up but it's just a whole different kind of pain.
I feel so lost and so terrified. I know words can't help so my question is impossible to answer but everyone here is so helpful. Maybe I can find a little help here. All I need is just a little push to get through my day.
I'm sorry, I really hate to complain but my feelings are numb and I can't handle it. I feel like I'm losing it. I'm crying inside but I can't on the outside and it's really freaking me out. I know, I sound nuts. I just may be.
Thank you all for reading this. I hope you're all doing better than me.

The fact that you chose to break up with him because you realised the love was gone doesn't make it any less painful. You need time to grieve for the love you had that has gone, the plans you probably had made for the future that will never now be realised, and the life you had become used to changing dramatically.

Try to take it one day at a time for now. Try to find one small thing you can do for yourself each day, whether it's just painting your nails a nice colour or walking in the sunshine.

Try to write your feelings down and maybe after a while the tears will come and bring some kind of release.

<<HUGS>>

What you have to do right now is find yourself. In order to do that you have to give yourself away -- not sexually, but emotionally. Not to some new boyfriend, but to another person or even an animal.

I want you to volunteer somewhere. It can be at a hospital, a nursing home, an animal shelter, a library, or for a park district program. You might get a volunteer job at a day camp for handicapped kids. It might be working with rescued animals -- horses, dogs, cats, ferrets, rabbits. You might work in a hospital as a transporter -- pushing patients on carts or in wheelchairs to and from x-ray or scan or treatment rooms. You might be someone who sits with an elderly person and works on a jigsaw puzzle or plays euchre or pinochle or war. You might sit at the side of bed-bound patients (possibly at a vet hospital?) and read their mail or a magazine to them.

By giving away your time and yourself, even for only a couple of hours a week, you will begin to find yourself.

Try going out wit your friends distract yourself

Thank you all so much. The volunteering is a great idea. I do need to find out who I am. I go out and distract myself but even then I can't help but feel this dark hole in me.
I know it will get better. This anxiety is eating away at my soul but hopefully that will just make it grow back stronger.
Your words did hug me! Thank you all soooo much!

I'm glad you like that idea. You will find out what I said is true. Whatever you give of yourself, you will get back in truckloads. The more you give, the more you get back. Helping others -- the least among us -- will fill up that dark hole.

Please return to let us know what you are doing and how you are doing. There is a terrific group of caring people here. We always like to know where our suggestions and advice took people and if it helped.