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    LizaisBlue's Avatar
    LizaisBlue Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 25, 2008, 11:23 AM
    Jealous of engaged brother. Should be my time.
    This was my time.
    I had told my bf when we first met that by our 4th anniversary he'd have to ask me to marry him. I was kinda a joke but mostly not. Now, a day before our 4th anniversary I find out that my brother and his gf (I'm very close with both) are engaged.
    All this time I haven't brought up getting married except ONCE about 2 weeks ago when he asked what I wanted for my b-day, which is in a few days. He kissed me and we made sweet love but no answer, no comment.
    He has been married before and had a horrible divorce before we met so I understand the hesitation. However, after living together for 3 1/2 years, having a baby boy who is now 2, and loving that man more than anything, I feel like it is now my time to carry his name. I've given him no reason not to want to spend the rest of his life with me.
    I wanted this to be my time. Not theirs. I'm jealous.
    I feel like it's not ever going to happen for me and I deserve it.

    **I guess my question is...
    Should I just keep on living like this, give him an ultimatum, leave him, or what?

    I'd give my heart and my hand to this man... all he has to do is ask me.
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    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    Nov 25, 2008, 11:35 AM

    Bring it up in a serious communication on where he sees things going. Don't give him an ultimatum because well, they don't seem to work out very well. You need communication for a relationship to stay afloat so sit him down and chat.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #3

    Nov 25, 2008, 11:47 AM

    Do you know how he feels about marriage?

    My fiancé was married before and that didn't get in way of him aaking me to marry him. It seems that you two are living like your married without the title of it.

    Also, it's human nature to feel jealous but don't allow this emotion to come between you and your brother. Be happy for him because I am sure he would be happy for you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Nov 25, 2008, 12:17 PM

    Why should he want to marry, he is having all the sex he wants, he is living with you and you already have a child.

    Seems you put things in the wrong order ?

    You need to sit down and seriously talk.
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