Check out some similar questions!

kiwi_chuke · Dec 15, 2010, 12:12 AM

I've been with a guy for 3 years when he moved away. Things got bad and we decide to give us a break for 2 weeks, during that time I met a guy and one night I got really drunk and we kissed, 2 days later I broke up because I didn't care about my boyfriend, I saw the other boy soon after and we kissed again but nothing else. My former boyfriend went back to town and we saw each other and he found out the other guy was texting me and got mad, but I didn't tell him we kissed. But my former boyfriend and I work on our relationship and got back together. I told him about the other guy, but not that we kissed while we were on a break. I don't know If I should tell him because I know he will be very mad at me and hate me and I really love him

gara · Dec 15, 2010, 02:44 AM

Tell him and handle the consquences for future break , if you don't , this thing it will burn inside of you every day if you hide from him , telling him it means releasing something him from your chest , but there will be consquences in the end of the day.

ironhide262 · Dec 15, 2010, 02:56 AM

Your story is a bit hard to follow.

2 days later I broke up because I didn't care about my boyfriend

... if you didn't care about your boyfriend then why did you get back together with him?

Part of the problem here is that you went on a "break"? What does that mean? Where you broken up or not? How long were you broken up for? Was it understood that during this time you would both remain exclusive?

Besides all that... jumping to another guy after 2 days of being on a break or whatever is not right either. I think though sooner or later he will find out. If you want to truly get back together and make it last then you have no choice but to tell the truth. It's up to the both of you if you can work through it. At least you are being open and honest about it.

ScottGem · Dec 15, 2010, 04:32 AM

You kissed another guy? You need to wear a large red A for adultress!!

Seriously now, how old are you both? Being with one guy for 3 years implies a more mature person. But you sound like a 13 yr old! The guy moved away, you agreed to a break to see other people. You did nothing wrong in kissing someone else. If the original boyfriend can't accept that, he needs to grow up!

Jake2008 · Dec 15, 2010, 05:01 AM

When you say, "things got bad" and the two of you decided to take a two week break, this happened after he moved away, and at that time you weren't expecting him back.

Would you have remained on your own, had he not come back to town? And, was anger part of the reason you needed the break in the first place? You say that during the two weeks, you went from a break, to actually ending the relationship. Then you got back together, after splitting up, when he returned.

Unless you agreed not to see anyone else during the break, it is none of his business what you did. But the fact that he's gone through your phone is a red flag- why would he do that unless he's looking for proof of something. He can't go back in time and change the agreement, and make your talking, kissing, or anything else, subject to interrogation.

I'm curious as to why you broke up in the first place, and then jumped back in so soon.

natarakiak · Dec 15, 2010, 06:15 AM

Tell him now! The key to a healthy relationship is honesty!

joypulv · Dec 15, 2010, 06:22 AM

A major underlying problem here is that you now live far away from each other? How far? It isn't easy to maintain any relationship that way. And from the way you write you sound very young.
Only you know whether to tell him about the kissing. There are an almost infinite number of ways to look at it for each situation, and how to tell him, and why or why not. From your jumbled story, I tend to think I wouldn't, simply because you aren't really a solid item anymore.
You each need to decide if a long distance relationship is going to work or not.

pip1991 · Dec 15, 2010, 06:30 AM

If you on a break you both decided on neither you nor him can be blamed for things you did during it! That's why its called a BREAK, it's a break from that person granted u love him and yes you should tell him as honesty is always the best policy and if he really loves you like he says he will be able to understand but also imagine it was the other way round how would you handle it if you found out he kissed another girl? Try tell him the way that would be best to tell yourself.

talaniman · Dec 15, 2010, 12:34 PM

You are a couple who got back together, so talk honestly or, break up for good.

kiwi_chuke · Dec 15, 2010, 02:10 PM

Comment on Jake2008's post

We broke up beacause we didn't hve time to talk to each other even small chat. He lives 5 hours from here and will be there until may, He got back to town a week-end because there was mortality in his family.

Comment on ScottGem's post

Lol I'm actually 20 and english is not my foreign language I might sound like a 13 year old for that!

ScottGem · Dec 16, 2010, 04:47 AM

Originally Posted by kiwi_chuke

Comment on ScottGem's post

Lol I'm actually 20 and english is not my foreign language I might sound like a 13 year old for that!!

No, the reason you sound like 13 is not your use of language but the immaturity of the situation. My point was that all this drama over just kissing another guy after you had broken up with your boyfriend is worthy of 13 yr olds not 20 yr olds. It should be a non factor, not even worth mentioning for 20 yr olds.

Jake2008 · Dec 16, 2010, 06:27 AM

I think that while it may sound childish that you'd be so worried about kissing a guy while you were broken up with your boyfriend, maybe it has more to do with guilt. You were with him for quite a long time, starting when you were only 17. Most likely this was your first serious long term relationship (relatively speaking), and consequently your first breakup.

You still didn't answer why you broke up in the first place, or what changed to improve the prospects of getting back together again. If things are the same, perhaps you should have remained on your own. I find it strange that at your age, and the relationship you are in, that you are afraid of his reaction to telling him that you simply kissed another guy, while you were broken up. Maybe you are worried about his reaction for a reason? Maybe the guilt comes in because 'the kiss' was really more of a, 'holy cow there's a whole other world out there without him'.

Just my opinion, but I think there is far more to this than a simple kiss with another guy.

Is there anything you can add to why you are so afraid?