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Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 02:52 AM

I have been contacted by an ex. NOT the ex who I was devastated when she broke up with me, and who I have asked questions about on here, but another ex.

This is an ex who I went out with 3 years ago, she broke up with me, I have never really been interested in ever getting back together with her. But she has contacted me out of the blue.

She poked me on Facebook, out of curiosity I poked back, she has now added me as a friend. I have yet to accept!

Isn't it weird as to how exes seem to circle back around? What do you think her motives are?

ihatewestseneca · Feb 27, 2008, 02:54 AM

She might have just had a nice memory of you, and was wondering what you're up to... that's my bet

Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 03:22 AM

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

She might have just had a nice memory of you, and was wondering what you're up to... thats my bet

I think that is probably the case. I am not sure I am bothered about seeing her though!

I am quite curious as to why she has contacted me now though. Her Facebook relationship status is a clue though, it says "its complicated"!

ihatewestseneca · Feb 27, 2008, 03:58 AM

If you're over her then why not find out?

Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 04:08 AM

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

If you're over her then why not find out?

I have no interest in being friends with her. I have plenty of friends already. I may meet her just to see what she has to say for herself.

We only went out for 2 months so nothing serious BUT the manner in which she broke up with me is the reason I would not want to be friends with her. She left me standing for 2 hours waiting for her on her birthday when I was supposed to be taking her out! Why be friends with someone like that!

ihatewestseneca · Feb 27, 2008, 04:24 AM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

I have no interest in being friends with her. I have plenty of friends already. I may meet her just to see what she has to say for herself.

We only went out for 2 months so nothing serious BUT the manner in which she broke up with me is the reason I would not want to be friends with her. She left me standing for 2 hours waiting for her on her birthday when I was supposed to be taking her out!! Why be friends with someone like that!?

Ugh, you're right.. I wouldn't lol... on second thought, maybe she's just lonely or something.

Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 04:26 AM

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

Ugh, you're right.. i wouldn't lol... on second thought, maybe she's just lonely or something.

Although the maturity gene may be kicking in now. She was 26 then, she ditched a reliable bloke, and probably has been out with a bit of a player since. She is 29 now, reliability is more appealing, lol.

I'll think about it, ha ha.

talaniman · Feb 27, 2008, 08:25 AM

Could she be guilty about standing you up, and wants to relieve that guilt?

Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Could she be guilty about standing you up, and wants to relieve that guilt??

Interesting point Tal! I had not thought about that. Although we did speak after the standing up incident, when she confirmed (via text after I rang her!) that she was breaking up with me. We saw each other at a bar about 6 months after that, we were polite and spoke. Nothing since.

It may be that she realises she potentially had something good, and messed it up, hence the keeness!?

talaniman · Feb 27, 2008, 09:27 AM

I honestly think she feels bad about the way it was done, just to give you another perspective. Standing someone up, is bad enough. Breaking up via, a text, right after that, is cowardly. She should feel bad. Is she regretting her decision to break up, after time? Maybe. I doubt it, though, so no ego stroke, sorry! Does she want your friendship? Obviously.

Questions2007 · Feb 27, 2008, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I honestly think she feels bad about the way it was done, just to give you another perspective. Standing someone up, is bad enough. Breaking up via, a text, right after that, is cowardly. She should feel bad. Is she regretting her decision to break up, after time? Maybe. I doubt it, though, so no ego stroke, sorry! Does she want your friendship? Obviously.

I am finding it quite funny to be honest! Given the last 6 months, NC with my ex, now getting back into dating, enjoying women's company, I find it funny that another ex, who lets face it, is a game player, has got back in touch!

I don't want to be friends with her. I may go and get some action though, ha ha. Is that callous?

BMI · Feb 27, 2008, 09:52 AM

Dude, ITS FACEBOOK!!

To be quite honest it means nothing at all in my opinion. People add as many people as they can on the site, hell I have had people add me that I've never spoken to,we live on the same street??

I added an ex-girlfriend whom I dated years and years ago, I added her to talk and ays how'slife, that's all. She was with someone and so was I, I did it to see how her life was going, nothing more. On Facebook it's easy to say things to people because its not face to face, so her adding you is easier than her seeing you in the mall and saying hey. I have since left Facebook due to various reasons, but that is why people are getting in touch after so many years.

BTW, poking you was her wayof seeing how you would react to her, you poking her back indicates its cool. I say if your over her add her, why not? I'll wager that most of the "friends" everyone has on that silly site aren't really friends. I had over 200, some have over 500, I talk to maybe 7 in the real world. So really these actions haveto be taken with salt, if she called you out of the blue that would be something, this is nothing.

talaniman · Feb 27, 2008, 11:11 AM

I don't want to be friends with her. I may go and get some action though, ha ha. Is that callous?

YES, Why open a can of worms you may like it so much, then she rejects you again LOL. Seriously that is callous.

ISneezeFunny · Feb 27, 2008, 11:18 AM

y'know that IS funny, as my 2nd ex (previous to my recent ex) contacted me twice in the past 2 weeks... to just get together to catch up. Thought it was a bit weird... as she cheated on me twice and then dumped me for another guy... all within the same week.

I'm entirely over her, so I don't really care much. Her new boyfriend might care though. Who knows?

confused25 · Feb 27, 2008, 12:04 PM

I'm going to have to agree with BMI. Its just Facebook and I think you are reading way too much into this. At this point I don't think she has any motives aside from seeing how you are doing. She may have simply saw your profile on someone else's friend list and thought "Oh hey I dated him a long time ago! Let me say hi." If you are over her, just accept her as a friend and take it from there. Who knows maybe your hunch is right and she wants to see if there is still a spark between you two. But take it one step at a time and keep low expectations.

BMI · Feb 27, 2008, 12:07 PM

I forgot to add about the action comment. Seems that just because she added you you've conceived that she is there for the taking. TRUST, don't get your hopes up, she may want NOTHING of the sort. I too figured the same, I don't want to date her but I would fool around with her, thing is neither of those scenarios were mine to make. She adds you and you automatically think she wants piece, well I 'm sure any girl can find that, no need to go back in history and find someone 3 years later to get it.