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    rutgersguy77's Avatar
    rutgersguy77 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 16, 2006, 04:28 AM
    Impatient...
    I guess maybe I'm just being naïve, or impatient... their is a girl I'm interested in, and we have hung out a couple times, she tells a mutual friend she’s “interested” in me, yet lately it has been difficult to hang out with her. I’ve been on dates with other girls also, but approaching that exclusive stage now. I’m sure the reason for the sudden non-committal attitude is that she is playing the game as they say, maybe I'm just too impatient but I don’t want to screw around with that….what is the easiest way to avoid it, figure out what exactly her thoughts are, yet not loose my edge and look needy in the process?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Nov 16, 2006, 05:27 AM
    I know things have changed, but in my day we pursued and let our interest be known. Nowadays as I've been told things have changed but what female can resist the overtures of a confident patient male? Most females will run a little to see if you will take that extra step, so do it. Don't chase as a puppy dog though, show interest but don't tell your whole life story or be so available your there when she turns around, pick your spots and change up every now and then.Be patient and pay attention. Doesn't matter what the friends say at all.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #3

    Nov 16, 2006, 05:28 AM
    Talk to her.
    If you say you are friends, then be honest to her about how feel.
    What have u got to lose?
    Geoffersonairplane's Avatar
    Geoffersonairplane Posts: 1,195, Reputation: 286
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    #4

    Nov 16, 2006, 06:42 AM
    Patience is key,

    Don't give too much too soon.

    Don't be too available.. Show her you are interested but not over interested. Women like a challenge but not too much of a challenge.

    As you point out, don't come across as needy or desperate.. Highly unattractive.

    It's early days for these kind of character traits to surface anyway.

    Don't analyse this situation too much, just flow with it!
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #5

    Nov 16, 2006, 09:59 AM
    Tal - I'd spreads the love, but can't - excellent!!
    rutgersguy77's Avatar
    rutgersguy77 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 16, 2006, 10:05 AM
    Thanks guys for your reinforcement... I guess I'm just a little confused thou. Maybe I am overanalyzing everything a bit too much but given that I have been rebuffed a couple times, doesn't it look needy and clingy to be asking her out again... granted this is not an everyday occurrence that I am asking, but at which point do you draw a line? I know obviously you can't continually ask, so how do patiently wait things out without being overbearing and desperate, yet still convey an interested in her as well?
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
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    #7

    Nov 16, 2006, 11:39 AM
    It's a fine line, but you got to walk it a step at a time. Be impatient if you must, but don't hurry. You didn't say how old you are, but I'm guessing early twenties? Patience doesn't come easily, I know.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #8

    Nov 16, 2006, 11:58 AM
    I think some sorting out of impatience from not into playing the games could prove wise here. Impatience, not good-- rushing it is an incredibly destructive force in a relationship, often fatal later on. But not into playing the games is a legit position in my book. I see evidence that there still are both kinds despite how dating styles have changed over the years. My innermost crowd doesn't care for players so clear communication is a must. If a person can't reciprocate with the like, then you have a non-player trying to hook up with a player, which guarantees a bumpy road as I see it. Too much incongruency from someone is often an indication of things that really create havoc down the road.Teasing comes with an inherent ability to assess when the confusion or conflict you create is harmful. I've seen more than one woman cause a great man to snap the line because of poor judgement in that area. I am all for when it doubt, ask. It is not necessarily an indication of insecurity, neediness or the like. Only you know how you really are, Rutgersguy, or if you don't better take a closer look.
    rutgersguy77's Avatar
    rutgersguy77 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 16, 2006, 12:24 PM
    Hit it right on the head buddy... 24 in two months, keep the advice flowing gang, this stuff is great :)

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